


The Two Sides of the Sea

by anothersilentwriter



Series: Two Sides of The Sea [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: After the Southern Raiders, Angst, Badass Katara (Avatar), Bloodbending (Avatar), Character Development, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I love Katara if you haven't noticed, I mention all the things that I feel should have been covered within the show, I might be killing off people, Katara takes care of everyone, Katara talks about her feelings, Overprotective Sokka, People underestimate Katara, Possible Character Death, Soft Toph, Suicidal Thoughts, Talking, Toph opens up about her feelings, Zuko is just a cinnamon roll of honor, Zuko talks about feelings, Zutara, before the finale, crying Zuko, not quite sure, sorta fluff, there are feelings, we will see
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:20:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 28,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21794455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anothersilentwriter/pseuds/anothersilentwriter
Summary: There are two different versions of Katara. One of them sings for blood and controls the drums of heartbeats, and the other stops the tears and heartbreak. She switches between them as easily as a wave crashing into the shore returns to the sea.Zuko is the only one who has seen both.
Relationships: Katara/Zuko (Avatar)
Series: Two Sides of The Sea [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1737169
Comments: 209
Kudos: 602





	1. When Blood Sings

Katara loves power, she won’t ever admit it, but she likes being in charge. She likes the feeling knowing she is in total power and nothing can ever stop her. It is in her blood, she thinks. Even her bending the first time she ever used it, came from the rush of power. 

The first time she killed something it was back in the South Pole. Her dad has decided to take Sokka hunting and after much begging, he final agreed to take her. She was five and Sokka was seven. They were hunting a Killer-seals and Katara was eager to show her dad how good she had gotten with her bow and arrow. 

It was dark and the moon was out, and she remembered impressing her dad because she was able to figure out where the seals were. She never told him it was because she could hear their heartbeats, and the blood seemed to sing to her. She remembered not hitting it in the right spot, but she remembered the feeling afterwards when she closed her hands in a fist. She didn’t know why she did it, but she as if she had the heart in her hands and she just wanted to make her dad proud, and accomplish that she had to make her first kill. 

The sound of blood in her ears sang to her, she imagined it was like the sirens her mother told her about. The seal was frozen, unbeknownst to both it and little Katara, it was controlled by her. It was then that Katara felt her first rush of power. She held the life of the seal in her hands. Katara wasn’t able to control many things, she wasn’t able to control her crazy brother, or the starving children of her tribe, or the harsh winter of the South Pole, she wasn’t able to control what her father thought of her-there weren’t many things she could control. But this, this was the first time she felt in control. 

She let the arrow fly, watched as it soared and dropped her bow-  
Thud.  
Thud.  
Thud.

She closed her fist and then silence.

The seal fell, it was right before the arrow landed. It was miniscule to anybody else, but Katara remembered. She knew the seal was dead before the arrow landed in it. But none of that mattered. 

Her father was proud of her, she impressed her big brother, she helped feed her village, and later that night her mother figured out she was a waterbender.

It was a good day after all.

~o~  
She almost did it with Jet.  
This beautiful boy who she thinks would have accepted this side of her.  
She almost shared it with him. 

When he broke her heart,  
and betrayed her trust,  
she almost did it.  
Almost. 

His blood sang to her,  
urging her, and willing her to make it hers.  
It was just as tempting as his kisses.  
She didn’t do it,  
but she should have.

~o~  
She killed her first man in the Siege of the North. She just got her bending back and it came with a rush stronger than anything she ever remembered having. She felt the water, but it was the blood in him singing to her, his heart was like a beating drum she was in control of. 

She was in control of him, and he didn’t even realize it. She would never admit it, but the power rush made her giddy. 

This time she didn’t even have to close her fist. 

She felt the blood singing to her, asking her to choose the song. She decided on silence. One flick of her wrist and he fell down. 

It was so easy, and she didn’t care. She took three more men like that, before Sokka came running to her, seeing how there were four bodies next to her. She lied saying that she drowned them, he didn’t believe her, but he was to distraught about losing Yue to even try and figure it out. 

He never brought it up, and it didn’t matter because neither did she.

She felt like a true warrior that day, as if she proved something. 

~o~  
She did it again to keep everybody together. 

Sokka was drunk on the cactus juice and was about to run away, there was no full moon above her to help her, the only power she had was the last reserves of adrenaline that had yet to leave her, but it was there and the power returned to her. His blood sang to her, and while before when she did it she focused on the heartbeats, this time she focused on the movement. The push and the pull of the blood was so similar to water, and she pulled her brother back to her. 

And then she did it again when Aang was in the Avatar state. His blood didn’t sing to her, it sounded more like a cry of despair. It took more than just encouraging words to bring him back, she had to tap out a slower heartbeat for him. If he noticed he never said anything. 

Toph tried to ask her about it later, but Katara claimed that she was probably dehydrated. The sand stopped her from figuring out she was lying. 

She kept her family together that day, and for her that was enough.

~o~

The part of the story nobody else knows is that Katara was delighted when she found out somebody else heard the song too. She was so happy that somebody knew what if felt like to hear blood singing. She was so happy to know that somebody else had experienced what it was like to control the beat of somebody else’s heart. 

She learned that the song was called bloodbending. 

That night she learned that she wasn’t alone. 

She wasn’t so delighted when Hama tried to hurt her friends, nor was she delighted when she felt Hama take her own blood. She felt betrayed, and a rage flowed through her. A rage filled her veins, and it boiled within her. She took her own blood back, and then she heard the sound of Hama’s blood. 

It was a taunt, and she refused to let her taunt her. Because Katara could never stand bullies, she stood up to Pakku and she defied the fire nation at every chance she could and while the witch was her blood, it didn’t matter. Nobody would talk Katara down (funny how she let the ones close to her do it though).

She grabbed it, reaching onto it and felt the power flow through her. She took the blood of the old women and controlled it, making it hers. Katara turned the puppet master into a puppet. 

“Congratulations Katara,” The woman’s voice taunted her just like her blood had, it crackled in the wind and sent shivers down her spine. “You are a bloodbender.”

It was a cruel and horrible taunt, and Katara had to refrain herself from saying that she already was. She probably would have, but she didn’t because her family was there. 

Sokka’s disappointed face, and the fear plastered on Aang’s face, even Toph, whose face didn’t show anything, but her heart was beating out of fear. She could hear their blood singing too, the full moon amplifying it tenfold. Monster, it sang and what was worse was that the song was beautiful too, reminding her of tribal songs sang around the campfire, she’s a monster. They didn’t approve. Even worse, they were scared of her. 

She wanted to cry out, they were scared of her. They hated this side of her. Her family was scared of her. And that broke her. 

They told her she wasn’t a monster, that she wasn’t anything like Hama, and more words that were meant to make her feel better. But none of them did, instead it made it worse. Because she was a monster, and she was exactly like Hama. She wished she never met Hama, because before what made her feel powerful and like the warriors in the myths Gran Gran told her, suddenly made her a monster. 

That’s one version of Katara, the version only she knew.


	2. Drying the Tears

The other side of Katara was the one that dried tears and eased the pain of heartbreak. This is the mothering side of her. The side that gives out hugs as freely as water travels down the river, the side that gives and gives. This is the side everybody knows. 

This Katara pitched tents, made meals, and washed clothes, and healed the injured and took care of the sick. This Katara yelled at the others for not doing their chores and berated them when they refused to help out.  
This Katara gives speeches about hope, she starts prison riots and helps people find themselves.  
This Katara helped Sokka mourn Yue’s death.  
This Katara brought Aang out of the Avatar state.  
This Katara wrote letters to Toph’s parents.  
This Katara cared. 

After the failed attempt on the Day of The Black Sun, it was this version that took charge, because everybody else was to broken to do it. It was this Katara who kept everybody together and alive, and made sure that no matter what happened they were taken care of. 

When Teo, the Duke, Haru, and Pipsqueak had bruises, and cuts and scrapes it was Katara and her water pouch that healed them. 

When Aang was sulking because things didn’t go as planned, and he still had to face the Firelord, it was her who had to pull him out of his shell and force him to focus. She gave him hope, enough to convince him that he had the chance to live another day.

And when Sokka was putting all the blame on himself, claiming that it was his fault that the invasion didn’t work out it was Katara who had to knock some sense into him. It was Katara who had to remind him that he was a strong warrior, and it was Katara who had to give him his confidence back. It was Katara who held his hand and squeezed it as a reminder, that she was there, and that she was his family, and that family was strength.

And it was Katara who comforted Toph, the little earthbender girl when she came knocking on her room in the Air temple, asking for a hug. It was Katara who let the girl cry in her arms and gave her the space to be a little kid. She let Toph share the bed with her, hugging her and reminding her that she wasn’t alone. It was Katara who brushed Toph’s hair, because Toph asked her to, saying it was what calmed her down when she was little. And it was Katara who reminded Toph that she was still little, and still a kid just like the rest of them. 

It was Katara who made them realize that they were all still kids. 

And it was Katara who claimed the ragtag group of kids, as hers. 

It was Katara who adopted these children and gave her life and soul into protecting them. She was the one who healed them, gave them hope, gave them confidence and comforted them. She became the mother she didn’t have growing up. 

And it was Katara, who grew up so that the others wouldn't have to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have much to say. My writing style changes on the day and the mood (I really have to stop using so many commas). I'll do a full run through edit one day, but not today because I am too tired. Here is a positive reminder to everyone: YOU ARE MORE THAN WHAT YOU THINK YOU ARE, and with that, I am gone.


	3. Ocean Eyes to Glares of Ice

Zuko has always known about the two sides of Katara. Even before when he was still chasing the Avatar, he could see the two sides of her. He remembered seeing the girl who always took care of the two boys, and later on the two boys and the earthbender girl. He remembered hearing stories of the girl who started prison riots with nothing more than her voice. He remembered the girl in Ba-Sing-Se who was the first person to ever touch his scar, the kindness and the softness of her voice as she offered to heal the enemy.

But then he saw the other side of her, the one that was a warrior that took up a category of her own. The one who yelled at him to jump in a river. The one who fought him in the North Pole. The one that fought him countless times. The one he saw after he betrayed her in Ba Sing Se. He remembered her. He could clearly remember how quickly ocean eyes could become shards of ice, he remembered the expressive face, how easily softness could turn into hatred.

Zuko was not like the others, he did not know just one side of Katara, he knew both. And perhaps that is why he had such a difficult time understanding why exactly everybody underestimated her.


	4. Somebody to Watch the Sea

It is after she decides to forgive him, after their trip to the Southern Raiders, it is after then then that Sokka asks Zuko to keep watch on Katara.

He’s incredulous at first, “What?”

He’s not exactly sure if he heard the Water Tribe boy correctly, “You want me-“ He points a finger at himself, and then to Katara’s tent, “to watch your sister?”

The question doesn’t sound right when he says it, the words feel off and wrong and he can’t even figure out where to start on how wrong that would be.

“Your sister,” He begins, words forming in his head- is everything. _She’s strong, she is kind, she is a warrior, she is amazing and beautiful and-_ Zuko can go on and on, and on about everything that Katara is, but instead he keeps his sentence short and simple, “does not need anybody to watch her.”

“And that,” Sokka says as he takes a bite of his apple, “is where you are wrong. She needs somebody to watch her, somebody that won’t pressure her.”

“Then why me?” He asks, “Why not anybody else? Why not Toph, or Aang, or yourself? Why me, the person she _just_ started to like?”

Zuko just got Katara to like him, to forgive him, he didn’t want to lose that. Katara’s trust meant more to him than he could properly explain in words, her forgiveness was better than him regaining his fire, it was so much better than having his father’s love, she was everything and she didn’t need anyone.

“It has to be you,” Sokka says, “Something is going on with her, and she needs someone to talk to. She feels that because she has to take care of all us, she can’t share what is going on with her. But she doesn’t need to care for you, and therefore she will listen to you.”

“I don’t unders-“

“You don’t have to.” Sokka cuts him off, “But I know Katara, and she needs somebody.”

“Sokka, I don’t think-“

“Please,” He begs, eyes growing wide, and Zuko sees a familiar expression, one of olderly brother love and care. Zuko knows he has never been able to actually show that care for his sister, but if he could, if his sister wasn’t as crazy as she was he would have. And it is that look, _that_ look that forces Zuko to give in.

“Okay.” He huffs, blowing a piece of hair away from his face.

The look of relief on Sokka’s face is indescribable, he’s giving a smile, that lets Zuko know what he is doing is worth it, even if Katara does decide to kill him for it.

“Thank you, buddy.” And with that Sokka exits the room, leaving Zuko alone.


	5. Staring from Afar

She’s in a mood, he thinks, a really bad mood.

“I’m going out,” She announces, her lips are pursed in a thin line, and her eyes are swirling with a rage he hasn’t seen in a long time.

Sokka looks up, “Do you want one of us to go with you?”

She can’t say no fast enough, “I’m going alone.” She emphasizes the alone part, very quickly. “I just…” She pauses, “I need some time, a break for myself.”

“Okay.” Sokka says, and the surprise is clear on her face, but she doesn’t wait any longer and is already heading out the door. As soon as she is out of sight, Sokka then turns to him, “Watch her.”

Zuko is ready to argue, but he made a deal and if anything is true about his personality is that he always keeps his end of a deal. He sighs, a breath of fire coming out in a hot huff, but he stands up grabs his hood and leaves one water tribe sibling in search of the other.

She’s harder to keep track of then he thought she would be. While her skin tone is darker then the others, it is becoming harder to tell the difference between the water tribe brown, and the color of a tan that many vacationers on Ember Island currently sport. The only real tell that she isn’t of them is the flash of blue that is her eyes, but since he is following behind her even that is hard to see.

In typical Katara fashion, she heads first to the markets. She browses through the fruit stands, and looks at the items for sale. He catches her smiling and joking with the merchants, and he can’t help the way his heart flutters when she does. Her smile is bright and dazzling, and her skin just glows in the sun of the Fire Nation. She looks as if she belongs, in the red fire nation outfit, in the middle of the market, smiling and laughing, and dare he think it carefree. He can’t help but think it works for her.

There comes a time where he thinks she spots him or knows he is following her, when she pauses in the middle of the street and stares in his direction. He presses himself against the nearest shadow, hoping the darkness of his hood will let him blend in. She takes a few steps toward him, and he swears that she is tracing him by his heartbeat, because Agni is his heart going insane.

_Thump._

_Thump._

_Thump._

Sooner or later it is going to burst out of his chest. He can’t fail now, not after Sokka asked him to take care of her. But what would he say to her? Would he tell her that he was following her? Would he say that he wanted to protect her, because what kind of bullshit is that!

She doesn’t need protection; she is her own type of army and he can’t risk losing her trust after he worked so hard to gain it.

When she turns back around, the relief that floods through him is stronger than any wave she has sent at him. He never lets her leave his sight. She goes back to doing what she normally does, weaving her way stand through stand, merchant to merchant, but what he finds as strange is that she never buys anything. While Katara has never had the shopping addiction her brother has, she does normally spend her money on an item or two.

He does this for another hour, until she finally stops at the last stand he expects her too. The weapons one. “What?” He whispers to himself, because his brain isn’t really understanding. Every other stand she went to was fruits, or vegetables, a jewelry and a tea one, but this is a weapon’s shop.

He watches as she inspects everything at the stand. He sees her stop and grab something but from this vantage point he can’t really tell what it is. But she leaves the stand with a bag, and that enough gets his attention.

She seems pleased, a small knowing smile on her face, one that he recognizes from when she wins an argument with Toph. There is an extra pep in her step as she leaves the market, and Zuko has to be extra careful not be caught as he trails her. She walks through the town, and then to the western heart of the island, the part filled with forest.

And like he always does, he follows her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's Katara doing? What did she buy? How crappy of a writer am I? Let's find out in the next chapter!


	6. The Rage Underneath the Waves

She knows that she’s being followed, and she knows exactly who is following her. She leads him on, getting herself lost in the forest until the moon is starting to rise as the sun makes it’s escape. She only gives him a break when she feels his heart slow down.

She sits down near a tree and looks right in his direction. She did it earlier, and she had to admit it was funny how much he freaked out about it. His heart went wild, and she now understands why Toph always likes commenting on people’s heart rates.

“You can come out now,” She says, not very loud because he’s close by, hidden in the branches of a tree less then ten feet away. He’s hidden by the shadows, but she has gotten good at noticing the small details. She laughs, he’s being stubborn. “I’m going to force you out of there, if you don’t move.”

His heartrate spikes up, and she laughs again.

She can’t help herself, she bends the tree towards her. It’s harder then bending vines in the swamp, or the small flowers at camp, but she’s been practicing in between taking care of the others and her bending has grown a lot stronger than the others truly know. Everybody but Zuko that is.

He seems to be the only one that knows just what she capable of, and yet he isn’t scared of her. He doesn’t call her a monster like the others did when they found out about her bloodbending, he doesn’t look at her disapprovingly when she takes water from plants, he doesn’t even expect her to help him like the others do. He just accepts her, and while she doesn’t really get it she isn’t going to stop it.

There is a string of curses that fills the breeze when the tree branch comes closer to her, and he looks so shocked when she pats the ground next to her, gesturing for him to sit next to her.

“Are you going to keep staring, or are you going to sit?” She asks, and before she knows it he is spluttering up excuses and reasons, and things she already knew.

“Sokka, he asked me if I could- could watch you, and keep an eye on you…Not that you need it!” he adds, words pouring out of his mouth faster then she thinks he can actually handle. “You are an amazing, strong, fighter, who really doesn’t need anybody to watch after you…but I think you already know that. And I get it, that I’m not- that you probably don’t want to see me, but it is only because Sokka asked me, I don’t want you to get the idea that I doubt your ability to take care of yourself. I’ve been on the other side of your water bending, I know just how capable you truly are. And-“

"And enough, Zuko,” She says firmly enough for him to look her in her eyes. His face softens immediately when he realizes that she isn’t mad at him.

“I’m sor-“

“If you apologize one more time I am going to water whip you all the way back to Ba Sing Se.”

Katara doesn’t understand Zuko, but he seems to understand her.

“So why did you let me follow you?”

She shrugs, “Because…” She considers answering the question properly, but in all honesty she couldn’t find a proper one. “I guess I wanted to see what you would do.”

She doesn’t trust him, not completely, but that could change. He knows too much about her, more than the others know about her. While he may not know her favorite color, or her favorite memory of the South Pole, he knows the other side of her and that is more than the others know.

“I wasn’t going to do anything,” He protests immediately, “I swear.”

She laughs, it is funny how awkward he is compared to the villain she made him out to be while he was chasing her- Aang, across the world. “I know.” Is all she says, before standing up again and grabbing her bag.

His golden eyes observe the bag, and the one eyebrow that he has furrows.

“It’s a bow,” She answers, and takes out the contents. The surprise on his face is somewhat amusing and insulting, “You aren’t the only bender that knows how to use a weapon.”

“No, it’s not that, it’s just that-“

“That you assumed that I was helpless without my bending?” Her tone comes out more bitter than she intended, and she realizes that she is expressing her hidden anger towards others at him, “You aren’t the only one.”

She’s surprised at how her voice breaks at the end, there is so much anger that she has been hiding, anger that she has been dying to let out. It has been boiling in her veins for the past few weeks, and that is exactly why she left the camp. To be alone, and to express that anger. When Zuko doesn’t speak, doesn’t protest she takes it as a chance to pour out the words, the words and the thoughts that have been in her head for the past few weeks.

She doesn’t care that it is Zuko who will listen to her, she just cares that he’s willing to listen to her.

“My dad taught me when I was little. He was skilled with a bow, and he passed that down to me. Sometimes- sometimes I think it is the only thing he passed down to me, or the only way I’m like him.” She grips the bow tighter, her nails pressing down so hard that it is sure to leave indents in the sleek wood, “Sokka has his leadership skills, his personality, his strength. And I- I don’t have any of that.”

“That’s not true,” Zuko denies it so quickly that she almost drops her bow, “You are strong.”

There is so much more to that sentence, because he says it so clearly and with so much force that she wants to know what he is thinking. She can see it in him, feel it in his beating heart. She isn’t as good at reading heartbeats as Toph is, but she’s learning.

“It’s funny though,” She pulls out an arrow from the bag, “people forgot that I could use the bow. Sokka forgot- my own brother, he – he forgot. The only thing people know me as if this waterbender girl, and not even that…”

She’s heard the whispers, the gossip. She is known as something else, someone that isn’t her.

She hears it in her head as she readies herself to shoot, focusing on a spot on the tree _. “The Avatar’s girl.”_

She spits it out, and as soon as she does, she lets the arrow fly. It lands with a hard thud, a few inches away from her original target. She hates that name, the Avatar’s girl. She loves Aang, but he doesn’t own her. No one does. “They forget- “Another arrow, “-that I can take care of myself.”

There are so many other things people forget about her, and they come spilling out of her mouth in waves. And while she loves her friends to death, she thinks that sometimes they realize that she is just so much more than what they see.

“They forget that I belong to myself, and only myself.”

“They forget that I don’t need my bending.”

“They forget that I’m not their mother.”

“They forget that I’m capable.”

Because she is so many things, that they don’t remember.

And it kills her, because for once in her life she wants to be remembered.

With each sentence she finds a new target amongst the trees, a branch that is about to fall off, a leaf that she pins to a trunk, anything she can find. She picks up a new arrow, prepares herself, and lets the arrow fly.

 _Tui and La_ , she missed this. She missed being able to be herself. She missed being alone. She missed not feeling judged, and having some sweet freedom to herself. There were no expectations here, there were no chores to do, or healing to be done, no tears to dry. She was finally alone…but she wasn’t.

“I don’t forget.”

His hand is on the one holding her bow, and he’s guiding her hand down.

“No,” She says, “You don’t.”

She drops her bow and turns to face him. It’s extremely dark now, and his golden eyes are miniature suns that contrast against everything. She feels his heartbeat drum faster, but then she’s certain that hers is beating faster too.

“Katara,” He says, leaning his head closer, “You are more than capable.”

She opens her mouth to say something, but he shakes his head and places a finger on her lips. Silencing her for the time. “I’ve watched you, grow from not being able to control rain, to being able to create your own storm. I’ve seen you bring hope to an army and scare the shit out of men three times your age. I’ve watched you bring a man to his knees, with nothing more than moving your fingers.

“Aang might be the hero, he might be the one who is at the center of this journey. And Sokka might be the leader, he might be the one with the plans. Toph might be the one who is the fearless, and I might have been the villain at sometimes, but you-“ His voice hitches, and a she realizes that his hand is still in hers, and that’s it is squeezing hers tightly, “You Katara, have been the strongest one of all. You keep everyone together; you give people hope but you are more than that.

“You are one of the most powerful benders I know. You are able to hold your own, with or without your bending. And what surprises me most is that others don’t see that, they rely on you so much, but they don’t realize how much more you are.” Zuko takes a deep breath, readying himself too continue, “It’s funny too, you saw me. You saw past the angry, version of me and found the broken kid I am inside. You never judged me until after I betrayed you, and I want you to know- I want you to know...”

His voice trails off, because for some forsaken reason there are tears coming out of his eyes. She doesn’t understand, he’s saying all these things to her and she didn’t know- she didn’t know he even thought all of these things.

“Zuko,” she whispers, her voice and body trembling, “What do you want me to know?”

“I want you to know how many times I imagined you at night after Ba Sing Se, how many times I saw your eyes boring into mine, because for the first fucking time somebody actually saw me.” His voice is breaking, each sentence becoming harder for him to say. A tear rolls of his cheeks, and if it is possible, he manages to squeeze her hand tighter. “And it kills me, because you don’t feel like you are seen. You see everybody for who they are. And I just want you to know that I see you. _I see you_.”

And it is those words, those words that make her break.

Because never before has she ever heard somebody say those words to her. And it is then that she understands. He understands her, he gets that she is good and bad at the same time. And while she hasn’t told him of the part of her that hears the song of blood, she hears his blood, she hears his heart and it tells her that he wouldn’t care. And she gets it, she finally gets it.

He sees her.

_He sees her._

The warmth of his hands leaves hers and only comes back to lightly ghost her chin. She sees his eyes now, the gold. Bright, shining, glimmering, understanding _gold_. She leans into his touch, and she doesn’t stop him when his lips reach hers.

She refuses to say that it was magical, or that it was earth shaking, she refuses to say that. Because she is not some stupid hopeless romantic that so many people mistake her for, she is more than that. But she will say that with his kiss she felt valid. She felt understood, and that she thinks is better than any romance novel.

For once in her life she wasn’t scared of being who she was, and that, she thinks is why she likes Zuko.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, what did ya'll think? Is my romance bad, horrible, (or dare I say decent????) If you can't tell I fucking love Katara, and she was just not done well in any of the comics. Personally, I think Zuko is just a Burnt cinnamon roll of Honor. I'm thinking about writing a chapter of when they go back, that might be a bit silly, tell me if thats what ya'll want (ex, Katara coming back and yelling at everybody for making a mess). I write better when I have a purpose, I feel like I have to make it special. Happy Holidays, or if you don't celebrate, Have a good winter...I'm done rambling now.


	7. Voices of Ice

“I left you alone for two nights!” Katara screeches upon seeing the state of the Ember Island house, “Two nights! And this-“ She gestures wildly with her hands, pointing at the broken vase and the torn painting, she doesn’t even look at the mess behind her because it is _that_ bad, “- this is what you leave?”

Sokka holds up his hands defensively, “Listen-“

“No,” She walks up to her brother, pointing a finger to his chest, “You listen. I am sick and tired of cleaning up after all of you, I know I have said it before but I am putting my foot down now.”

She turns to Aang and Toph who are also there, she doesn’t address this to Suki because Suki hasn’t been with them that long, “This includes the two of you too.”

“I’m not your mother,” She says to all of them, “I will take care of you, and I love you to death, but I am not your mother. And you can’t expect me to take care of all you, and you can’t keep treating me like a housewife and then forget that I am capable of doing things.”

She’s panting, and the others are staring at her like she’s crazy. Aang opens up his mouth to talk, but she isn’t having any of it. She’s like an iceberg, one crack starts and now she can’t stop breaking. All the hidden anger and rage that she has had inside her for so long is finally pouring out of her with the power of a tsunami.

“You guys just see me as this perfect person, as this girl who's expected to do everything for you all-But I’m not. I’m a Master Waterbender, a fighter, and yet in all of our plans I’m just a healer. A healer! None of you want me to fight, you just expect me to be there when you need me!” She doesn’t realize it, but she’s hearing the song of blood. It’s thrumming in her ears and every word she says feels like she’s singing a song she’s been dying to let out.

“You see me as this Angel of pureness when you forget that I’m a killer-“there’s a collective gasp, “I have the blood of hunters in me, I know how to skin an animal better than Sokka does. I killed men in the Siege of the North. I have blood bent more people then you guys know I have. I drowned a whole ship of Fire Nation soldiers, and you dare to look at me and think of me as _perfect_.”

She’s tired of this persona. This image people have crafted for her, she’s the ocean. She is dangerous in all her righteous fury, she is the beginning of life, she is the end of men.

“Katara,” Aang starts, and she sees the shock in the poor kid’s eyes. He doesn’t deserve this, and she knows this, but she wants to be selfish and selfish she will be. “That doesn’t count- it was self-defense.”

She wants to scream, she wants to grip his blood and try to bend some sense into him. Some sort of understanding that it does count. It fucking counts. That’s the whole point.

“Self-defense,” she says, her voice cold and sharp as ice. “Is not gripping a man’s heart and stopping every blood vessel from reaching it, in hopes of gaining information to protect the Avatar.”

There is nothing else to say, nothing else that she could possibly say.

What isn’t written is the fact that, this was the reason the Avatar ran away. Because as soon as the word left her lips, the Avatar ran. For his heart had broken, the reality tore it apart with a knife made of words.

And if somebody were to ask Katara if she regrets it, it is sad to say that she doesn’t.

Katara is selfish.

Katara is powerful.

Katara is nothing that anybody expects her to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you know how I said maybe a silly chapter?? I guess I'm bad at writing silly, oh well. Hope you enjoyed my Katara take. (I wrote this at 3 in the morning true writer style) What do ya'll have to look forward to next chapter, Katara and Zuko have a talk. About what, you may ask, well to find out you have to convince my lazy excuse of my writer ass to actually write it. (comments are a great way of doing that) Till next time


	8. A Mother and a Siren

First was Suki, who came to her as she was gathering breakfast. 

"I'm proud of you, you know. And I'm sure he is too."

She doesn't ask which _he_ she is referring to. There are too many men in and out of her life that Katara didn't have the energy to even put effort into finding out. Suki, she thinks, is the only other person other than Zuko who held some respect for her.

She's not close to the girl, mainly because Suki hasn't spent much time with the gaang and also due to the fact that whenever she was with them Suki was normally focused on being with Sokka, which Katara didn't mind. She encouraged Sokka to be with Suki, after many late-night conversations with him discussing Yue.

No, she liked the girl and did indeed want to get to know her. She knew that Suki, unlike the mean gaang didn't think of her an incapable, but she does know that the girl thought of her as innocent.

"You know," Suki starts, "They love you no matter what."

Katara pauses what she is doing to answer, "I know."

"I've killed a man too," she grabs Katara's hands and gently turns to make her face her. "He was sick, begged for me to kill him. It still haunts me."

While she understands the meaning in the other girl's words, Katara shakes her head, "That's a mercy kill. Not the same thing. In the tribe, mercy kills are blessings."

"Well in Kyoshi, any type of killing is killing."

"Kyoshi is not the Southern Water Tribe."

"No," she agrees, "it is not. But you are not the only one here who has blood on your hands. While I might have the blood of one, and you-"

There's a long deep pause, as Suki squeezes her hand, a welcome- unconventional as it may be sort of encouragement or support.

"-the blood of many," she finally can spit out, "We are in a war, and you did what was expected of you."

Katara wishes there was enough time to make some sense of Suki's words, but there's a knock on the door and her brother walks in.

"May I," he asks, he steps closer, "Talk to Katara?"

Suki nods her head and leaves the kitchen, leaving Katara alone with her brother.

There is an awkward air in the room almost as if somebody had just started building an invisible wall between them. 

"Hello, Sokka." She tries her hardest not to cringe at the way the greeting sounds.

"Hello, Kata-" He starts the sentence, but quickly another one comes pouring out of him, " I'm sorry, for everything."

She tries to open her mouth to tell him not to apologize, to give in to her motherly instincts and lie to both her and herself. But Sokka has already started talking and there was no stopping him.

"I'm sorry for forgetting that you could take care of yourself," He comes to stand next to her, " I am sorry for forgetting that you aren’t the mother of the group, I’m sorry for forgetting that I can’t keep holding you back.”

“Sokka,” She says, her voice breaking. “I don’t want your apologies, you were just being my big brother.”

Because that is the truth, he is her big brother, and that’s all he wanted for her. Because as rude as she came off the other day, as much truth as she yelled into the gaang, there was always more than one side of the truth.

  
But she lets him explain because deep down inside she knows these apologies aren’t just for her, they are also for him. Sokka, she knows has always learned better when he admits things out loud. It is simply part of who he is, and as his sister and a bitter part that she pushes down, as his mother, she must let him say it.

“I guess, it's just that I’ve always wanted to keep you safe,” He begins to speak, “ I know that you are powerful and stuff, it is just that I never wanted you to be put in harm’s way when in reality you are probably the second most powerful person next to the Avatar.”

Those words send out a powerful shock inside of her, something that causes her to feel her insides freeze. “And I promised dad I would keep you safe, so I think I made up this false reality in my mind that if I stopped you from fighting I was keeping you safe. When in reality-“ he takes a shaky breath, “you were always the one taking care of me.”

“Sokka,” She starts, “I forgive you.”

He nods his head, before turning to her, “I have to ask though, was that why- was that why the men in the North Pole, were-“

“I killed them,” She interrupts, “I killed them with bloodbending.”

His heart spikes and she can hear it, but he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t accept it; she knows that it will take time. She can’t say that it doesn’t hurt, but she can’t be mad at him. But he nods his head again and pulls her in for a hug. He squeezes her tight, and she squeezes him back.

“I love you,” He whispers into her ear, his voice breaking and his heart is racing.

“I love you too.”

“Mom would be proud of you.”

She’s taken aback, the words are so sudden that she isn’t ready for them. Because that might just be the most home hitting thing, he has ever said to her. She’s crying before she can stop herself, because after everything that’s been going on, between the outbursts, her blood bending, Aang leaving, the Comet, the mention of her mother breaks her.

Sokka never leaves her side, holding his sister like the lifeline she is. She’s sobbing, her tears staining his shirt. It isn’t graceful, her face is red, eyes are puffy, and by the time her tears stop flowing she looks like she’s been through hell and back.

They eventually separate. They have five more nights to look for Aang time must not be wasted.

~O~

Katara was in charge of searching the beach and after hours of walking around the island, and even water bending a boat made of ice to search for him, she doesn’t find him. She does find, however, Toph waiting on the porch of the house for her.

Toph has tears in her eyes, and as soon as her feet sense Katara she’s running towards her. Arms are wrapped around her torso, and the earthbender lets her strong image crumble. “I’m scared, Sugar Queen.”

“It will be okay, Toph.” 

“But, we can’t find him, what if he won’t come back, what if-“

“Enough about the what ifs.” Katara holds the girl closer, “Aang will do the right thing, no matter what the right thing is.”

She can sense a struggle coming from Toph, there are more tears but eventually Toph calms down, never really letting go of Katara. They have moved from the porch to Katara’s room, Toph resting her head on Katara’s shoulder.

“Are you mad at me?” The girl asks, out of nowhere.

“What?”

“You seemed mad at us before Aang ran away, are you mad at me?”

It takes Katara a few moments to answer, because even though Katara has comforted Toph when she cried before it is still difficult for her brain to register that this self-assured girl could be so insecure.

“Yes,” She answers honestly, and Toph stiffens at her side. “I’m mad. I’m mad at the world, at you guys and at Aang. But I’ve always been mad, for a very long time there has been a part of me that was angry at the world. I just never liked to show it, but I guess I finally let it out.”

“Oh,” The girl says. Katara can feel the guilt dripping off of her, the same guilt she felt earlier from Sokka.

“Why didn’t you ever tell us about the blood bending before?”

“I was scared.”

“Scared of what?”

“That you would hate me.”

Toph hugs her tighter, “We can’t hate you. You take care of us and make good food.”

Katara chuckles lightly, “Is that so?”

“Yeah, Sugar Queen. We can’t let Snoozles cook can we?” Toph’s tone is still sad, but she’s trying to make a joke, and that means she is trying to feel better. The mothering side of Katara is coming out, and while Katara takes care of everyone deep down inside she knows that Toph is the one who needs this side of her more than anybody else.

“No,” She smiles, “We can’t let that happen.”

They are silent for a time, Katara thinks that by now a few hours have passed. She looks out her window, the moon is high in the sky. “Katara,” Toph says while mumbling, her voice weak, “How many men have you killed?”

Katara has to take a few moments to think about it. Two men in the North. Five FireNation soldiers while being hunted by Azula. She killed Dai Lee in Ba Sing Se. She drowned a Fire Nation Ship. Too many faces on the Day of the Black Sun. Some of them she killed with water, but most of them she heard the song of blood had let that control her. “I don’t know.”

It haunts her, the amount of deaths that have occurred because of her. It haunts her because nobody knows how many people she has sent to a grave, not even her.

“You never let me kill anybody,” Toph whispers, “You always told me to spare them.”

“I did.”

Toph doesn’t turn to her, but she leans closer to Katara, _“Why?”_

“Because no child should become a murderer.”

The irony in her words is there, and it doesn’t take long for it to sink into Katara. But she doesn’t regret it. Every life she took was to stop the others from taking one. Every time she stopped a heart it was in hopes of letting another beat.

She’s a murderer.

She’s a killer.

But she’s a protector.

And even though she may not have given birth to any kids, she was a _mother_. She was a mother to Aang wherever he is, a mother to Sokka, and a mother to Toph. These kids may not all have her blood, but she had their blood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said she would talk to Zuko, but that will come next. I know this isn't my best writing, but I've had writer's block so I'm proud of myself for writing something. Now, soft Toph is not something we see but I feel as if that is apart of her character that was missing and in my head, it feels right for her to be soft with Katara. Do you like it? Do you hate it? Please tell me, but anyways HAPPY NEW YEARS YA'LL!!!!


	9. Balance of the Sea and the Sun

There is a knock on the door that wakes Katara up. She looks out the window, and rays of sunlight are slowly peaking through. She doesn’t risk saying anything because Toph is still in her arms, snoring quite loudly. Another knock and the door is opened, Zuko peaks his head through and upon seeing Toph his expression shifts into something that seems to be nostalgic.

‘She’s sleeping,’ Katara mouths when he finally meets her eyes.

‘Can we talk?’ He mouths back, she nods her head and carefully lets go of Toph doing her best not to wake her up. Katara has a slight panic when Toph starts mumbling incoherently, but she forgets about it as soon as the girl starts snoring again. Quietly, Katara sneaks out of the room to meet Zuko.

When she closes the door, he gestures quietly towards the hallway that leads outside. Together they make their way outside, out to where the sun is starting to show its face from under the blanket of the sea. The sky still has a tint of purple, but streaks of pink and orange are starting to show up with every moment that passes.

When they reach the beach, Zuko sits down and offers a hand to help her down. “It feels like we haven’t talked in awhile.”

“It is because we haven’t,” She replies, letting their laced hands drop to her lap. “But I’ve been talking to everybody else.”

“I can see,” He says, “You and Toph?”

It is an innocent question, and Katara wastes only a few seconds preparing her explanation. “She comes to me when she is emotional, and even though she will never admit it she needs a mother. And even though we fight and we argue, and we throw mud at one another, I think she trusts me enough to let me see the vulnerable side of her.”

Zuko nods his head, “I thought she wasn’t a hugger though.”

“She isn’t.” Katara looks at the ocean, her “But when she’s sad it’s a comfort.”

“I see.”

They are both silent for some time, both of them watching the sunrise. It’s beautiful really, almost gorgeous enough to stop her from forgetting the chaos the world is going to be in. She wishes that she could keep this moment forever, because it is almost perfect. She is by the water, the ocean is at her beck and call. Zuko is with her, his hand in hers. The sun is taking its throne in the sky, everything is balanced.

While she isn’t sure what Zuko is to her, she knows he is something.

But like everything in her life, something has to break.

And Zuko breaks the silence.

“I wanted to talk to you.” He looks at her, as if asking for permission to speak. She nods her head, noticing how the slight change from easy-gong to serious in his stance, “We need to talk about what will happen if Aang won’t come back.”

She surprises herself with how quickly she argues with him, “He will!”

“You don’t know that.”

“I don’t.”

“Then why do you say it?” He asks, his tone shifting, “How do you have such blind faith in him? He’s just a kid Katara. Agni, he’s just a _\- just a kid_.”

His voice strains in the last few words, and worry and stress seeps into his words.

“And so are you. And so is Suki, and Sokka, and Toph,” She says, “And me. We are all kids.”

“That doesn’t answer my question,” he interrupts her, “We need a plan. We need to do something. We can’t just put all of out trust in him. I know he is your friend, but I- I don’t think we can just trust him alone. He runs away, he always runs away from responsibility. We can’t- we can’t trust him. It’s just not safe-“

His words hurt her, mainly because they are the truth.

They can’t rely on just Aang, they need a backup plan.

While Katara has always had hope on her side, she knows that this time needs something more solid than a few powerful words, and a ragtag group of people who have some experience fighting. They need more than just a boy who they don’t know is coming back.

She goes over plans in her head; she isn’t the plan maker, but she is the mother and mothers know best. She goes over situations, outcomes that could possibly happen. She pushes Zuko’s rambling out of her mind, she focuses on the thoughts running through her head.

“We need to split up.” She finally says, “On the day of the comet, we need to separate.”

“What?”

“The gaang will need to go in two different directions, you said it yourself Ozai will be heading to the Earth Kingdom, that leaves Azula in the Fire Nation. Somebody will need to go to Ba Sing Se to take back the city.” She explains, her words coming quickly, she has to say them before she loses them.

“You,” She points a finger at him, “Will need to go and face Azula, tere is no way Ozai will leave the Fire Nation without a royal in charge. Take her down there and secure your spot. You’ll need to take somebody with you.”

His reply is immediate, “You.”

And so is hers, “No.”

The hurt in his face is unmistakable. “If Aang doesn’t come back, I’ll need to kill Ozai.”

Her heart and her resolve hardens as Zuko starts asking her question after question.

“Katara you can’t- you can’t face my father. Why would you even suggest that? Katara that’s not possible- I won’t let you! I refuse to let you face my father.”

“You aren’t letting me do anything-“ She cuts in, her voice becoming cold. “It’s something Sokka told me yesterday, I’m the second most powerful person next to the Avatar. Blood bending,” She explains, “is the one weapon we have that Ozai doesn’t know about. Nobody knows about it.”

She turns to him, everything is coming together in her mind. “If Aang doesn’t return, or he comes back and he fails, this is the one fool proof plan we have.”

“It’s not foolproof!” Zuko argues, flames starting to appear in his fingers, “My father is powerful! You’ve never fought against a firebender like him.”

“I’ve fought against you!”

“Well I’m a weak firebender!” Zuko yells, “I’ve always been a week firebender. Why do you think he kicked me out of my home? Why do you think he gave me this scar and made Azula his favorite child? Why else Katara?”

She’s silent. And then she’s heartbroken, and angry, and then she is murderous. Her brain can barely comprehend the fact that it was his father that gave him the scar- his father who hurt him. Suddenly it feels like the waves against the beach are crashing harder. Suddenly she feels like her blood is turning to ice, everything is hers.

She feels everything. The power in the ocean. The life in the plants that are twenty feet away from where she is sitting. The blood in Zuko’s veins. She feels everything, she feels all that power and she feels the anger, and it is so tempting to not ask to hunt down Ozai right then and now. To take Appa and march into the palace and find him and kill him.

But instead, she calms herself down and loosens her hold on everything because she can’t just let it go (there is so much in her brain that she can’t let it go), and says, “He did that to you?”

“Yes,” Zuko breathes, “He did that to me.”

She tightens her fist, “I’m going to kill him.”

“Katara,” Zuko says, “Please don’t fight him. He hurt me, and he hurts everybody that meets him. I couldn’t- I wouldn’t be able to handle it if he hurt you.”

“I can fight him though-“

“It’s not about whether or not you can fight him,” He says, “ _Just please_ , make it so that this is a backup plan. _Please Katara.”_

The way he says her name has her pieces of her soul breaking away, pieces of her spirit intertwining with his. “Okay,” She breathes, finally giving in. “Back up plan, but we need to figure something out.”

“We will,” He grabs her hand, “We can try and find my Uncle, he’s out there, maybe he can help us.”

This grabs her attention ,“Your uncle?”

“He doesn’t like sitting around and doing nothing. I think- I think that if he would talk to me he could help us.”

She nods her head, “But if that doesn’t work out..”

“I don’t want to think about it.”

There are emotions hidden in his voice, in his eyes, in his very being. He’s fighting something inside him, and he is struggling to handle it. She understands his concern, his caution. But she and him both know what Katara is capable of.

“Then don’t think about it,” She says, “Let’s pretend that we aren’t fighting a war. Let’s pretend that we are just two teenagers on the beach watching the sunrise.”

There is a small smile forming on his lips, he doesn’t say anything, but she bends some water to splash him and he can’t fight the grin.

“Really Katara?”

“Really Zuko,” She smiles, and sits closer to him, “And while we are at it, why don’t we pretend that you are a sweet boy who is going to give me a romantic kiss while telling me about his dreams of the world?”

He laughs, and so does she.

And for those moments, Katara is nothing more than a girl with a boy on the beach. Talking, and laughing, and maybe even kissing. But for a few moments she is happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did it! I wrote a whole chapter before 3 in the morning! HAPPY NEW YEARS AGAIN! I wanted to start this year off happily (2019 was rough for me) by writing, so thank you all for reading. Something a bit happier I think before things get serious. If you can't tell my passion is dialogue, like I seriously love dialogue (even though I'm not that great at it). But anyways I think it is time for me to go to sleep.


	10. When the Sky Meets the Sea

They decide to leave and find Iroh after the search for Aang proves to be Futile. They have three more nights, tomorrow they will leave with the bounty hunter to find Iroh. They haven’t discussed Katara’s plan with the group yet, opting to wait and see if there are any other options.

After she says goodnight to everybody Katara goes straight to her tent. For some strange reason, she feels as if sleep has been calling her more than normal. It doesn’t really make sense, but there is something within her bones that keeps asking for her to closer her eyes and rest. She doesn’t tell the others, but she’s just hoping that they think of it as stress before the comet.

As soon as she places her head she feels as if she is being twisted into some other world. Colors speed before her eyes and she briefly remembers the description of the dragon's flames that Aang and Zuko described to her. “Colors dancing before you, the whole world is spinning around you and even if you don’t understand what is going on, you feel as if you came across something great.”

But she doesn’t feel great.

She feels sick.

Whatever this is she doesn’t like it, and she’s trying to reach onto her bending, find water around her but she comes to the startling realization that she doesn’t feel the water. She can’t feel the water, or blood, or anything for that matter.

It’s extremely hard to explain how she feels, but she knows she is there but things keep zooming past her in an incredible speed as if her body is being rushed into another place. It takes a few seconds, and she only sees blue around her for her to finally realize that she is finally standing on something solid.

She doesn’t tumble, even though limbs feel as if they are six feet ahead of her.

She doesn’t vomit, even though her dinner is just waiting to make its appearance.

She can’t move, even though this is her body.

Is this bloodbending? But that isn’t possible, Katara is the only bloodbender other than Hama and she is more powerful than Hama, Hama can’t even control the liquid defiance that is her blood.

“You are in my dream,” A voice says, one that she recognizes, “I’m tying your mind here with the help of the spirits.”

Grey eyes meet blue, and emotions start flowing through her. Anger, concern, pity, guilt, all of them fighting to take center, but instead she chooses calm.

“Aang,” She says, using the confidant motherly voice she has adopted over the past ear to help control Aang, “Why am in your dream?”

“Because I wanted to talk to you.”

She holds back a sarcastic comment, but instead asks another more important question, “Where are you?”

“It’s hard to explain,” He says, but there is a hardness in his eyes that tells her that she doesn’t really need to know, at least not right now. That isn’t why she is here. “I need to ask you something.”

“Well maybe you should come and ask me in person,” She bites back, struggling to hold in the annoyance bubbling inside her. She gestures to the area of giant trees, and the stone ground. “You’ve worried everybody sick; we need you. The whole world needs you.”

“I know.”

And the way he says the words, with no bite back at her, no smile on his face she realizes that maybe he has grown up. His serious and solemn tone, and the way he stands something has changed. He changed.

She faces him, “What do you want me to do?”

There is a pause before he answers her and Katara feels cold for a few moments. He takes a deep breath, eyes closing before finally looking at her. “I need you to stay with Zuko when the comet comes, you can’t leave him. I need to fight Ozai.”

“But-“

“You were going to kill him Katara,” He responds, voice harder, “I can’t stop you from killing people, but I need to fight Ozai, the world will be imbalanced if you don’t.”

“Aang, we had a plan-“ She tries to fight him, “We had a plan that would work because I know you won’t kill him, but-“

“Zuko will _die_ if you don’t go with him. Everybody will die.”

And that catches her attention.

“How,” She begins, her voice laced with disbelief, “do you know this?”

“The spirits showed me, they showed me what would happen if I hid from my destiny again. They showed me what would happen if you took my place. Katara you fight Ozai and _you lose_ , Zuko fights Azula and _he dies_. Katara you fight Ozai and you don’t make it, nobody does.” There is fear in his voice, “It isn’t your job.”

“You can’t tell me what my job is!” She yells at him, “I have done so many things that I wasn’t meant to do, what I do or don’t do is not up to you.”

“I know Katara,” He said, “And I’m sorry.”

“You should be.”

“I’m sorry that you had to grow up for me to stay a child, and I’m sorry for not accepting who you are.”

His apology rings in her ears, it is all she wanted to hear for so long, that apology. It was literally all she wanted from him. She started hating him because he wouldn’t grow up, even when she knew that she was the one babying him.

“Your apology is accepted.”

“Thank you, Katara.” He bows to her, the way a student would to a master and in return she bows back. “I’m grateful and lucky,” He says, “To have you as a friend and as a teacher. I-I won’t let you down Katara.”

She gives him a small smile, and even she can’t tell if it is sincere or not, “I know you’ll do what is right.”

“I promise that I will.”

Neither of them acknowledges the fact that they don’t know if he will defeat Ozai, neither of them talks about if Aang will actually win. ( or maybe they both silently do, if they did it might be when they are both staring at each other, silently judging each other with looks like pencils and knives. Hoping to change or carve something into the other) She doubts that the spirits would show Aang his future because that isn’t what spirits do. So while she isn’t entirely sure what that means, she will do what he asks, she won’t fight Ozai.

She tries to be hopeful.

She tries to hide the sliver of denial that wants to crawl up her throat and make its voice heard, but for the sake of herself, the world, and her friendship with Aang. When she leaves the spirit world, realm whatever this is, she only has three thoughts.

She promised not to fight Ozai.

Doesn’t mean she won’t kill him.

When all of this is over, Ozai is going to die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that this chapter might not be exactly what ya'll wanted, but you will soon see I have something in mind. While I too would love it if Katara was the one who did fight Ozai, that feels like I"m dismissing Aang's entire role and character. I do love Aang, I really do. I hope you keep reading because I promise you I will be making things interesting in the chapters yet to come. Also, I really want to go more in-depth with the character dynamics for all of the characters, so if there is anything that you would want to see please tell me and I will try my best to write it (everything will be apart of my Two Sides of the Sea, but as separate pieces) Anways, remember that you are all amazing human beings and are capable of doing more than what anybody thinks you can.


	11. The Pain Fire Can Cause

Reuniting with Iroh was a relief and knowing that his Uncle forgave him meant more to him than anything. When it was over, Katara was outside waiting for him. Granted she was half- asleep, and her eyes were closed when he and his uncle came outside, Zuko still found it very sweet.

While Zuko knew that he and Katara haven’t named their relationship, he knew that they meant something to each other, and it wasn’t just because they shared a few kisses. No, he knew he liked her or felt something for her before he even joined the group.

And he knew this because while the other memories he had with his other dalliances were iffy. He could remember Mai quite clearly but he could almost barely remember what was important to her, he could remember Jin, but he just felt awkward and he couldn’t quite remember the exact shade of her hair or the color of her eyes. Agni, he couldn’t remember the name of the girl who gave him and his Uncle dinner when they were lost in the Earth Kingdom. He couldn’t even remember Jet properly, and the nights they shared in the beginning of Ba Sing Se, he remembered the touches they shared but he can’t quite remember what he felt like. He couldn’t quite hold onto what he felt like for any of them.

But with Katara, he could remember everything, with almost crystal-clear perfection. He remembered their first fight, their second, he could remember almost every conversation they have had, and in his dreams he could always count on seeing every emotion that she had ever showed him in those blue oceans that were named her eyes.

And maybe the difference was that Katara saw him, knew him. And in return he saw her, admired her, and was in total awe and complete awe of her. While the others didn’t quite know what was going on between the waterbender and the firebender of their groups, he couldn’t wait for the day that he could actually admit out loud and in words how he felt for her.

“I see that Master Katara has attempted to stay up for you,” His Uncle said when he saw Katara draped across the rock, her legs tucked underneath her and her arms holding her head up. “She is a very kind woman.”

“Yes,” Zuko said, not even bothering to hide his smile from Uncle, “She’s amazing.”

Uncle smiled at him, and then at Katara’s sleeping form, “I hope you two will be happy together.”

Zuko feels his face flush red, and he begins to stammer. “We aren’t- Uncle, Katara and I aren’t doing anything. We just had to convince June that I’m not dating her- I promise, Uncle it isn’t anything like that. She’s my friend and I care for her of course, and I think she cares for me back, but we aren’t-“

Uncle holds up a hand to silence Zuko, “My nephew, you are a horrible liar and please do not put me through that torture ever again.”

Zuko only slightly nods his head, and goes back to watching Katara again. Uncle places a hand on his shoulder, “She’s important to you, yes?”

“She is.”

“She’s good for you, my nephew.”

“She is, more than you could imagine.”

Uncle smiles at him, and is about to say something else, when blue eyes slowly crack open. “Zuko?” A drowsy voice asks, he can’t help the fact that his heart starts to flutter upon hearing it. She looks between Iroh and himself, before smiling up at him, “I take it everything went well?”

“Yes, Master Katara,” Uncle answers before Zuko can, “Everything went extremely well.”

She gives him an honest smile, “That’s good.”

Zuko’s heart is so stuck up in his throat that he can’t even begin to form words, but thankfully Uncle as he always does, manages to save Zuko. “Prince Zuko,” he begins, “Why don’t you take Master Katara down to her tent, it seems that she needs the rest.”

Zuko nods his head, “Yes, Uncle.”

He holds out a hand for Katara, who still hasn’t even moved her head. With the grace of a Rat-elephant Katara stands up, limbs creaking and arms stretching to take his hand. They aren’t soft. The skin is rough and dry, from fingers being near the saltwater for too long. They are similar to his, and his hands which are slightly burnt and hardened from using is dao swords. Katara’s grin seems to be plastered on her face, and that of itself makes Zuko smile back at her.

They are two nights away from the most dangerous day of their lives, but at least they have each other.

He walks her into her tent, he gives her a hug and she gives him a sweet peck on the lips as their goodnight. When he leaves his tent, he’s happier and more at peace than he has been in a long time. He has a family here, and even though the peace might not last, he is going to relish in it, because his poor soul needs it.

He has Sokka as a brother, and Aang too (Katara has a deep faith in Aang, and he will too) despite him not being here.

He has Toph as a younger sister, he quite likes her. She’s brash, and loud and rude, but she makes it very clear that she cares.

He has Suki who he is slowly becoming good friends with, bonding over martial art styles.

He has Katara, who he would do anything for.

He has Iroh, the father he never had.

He has everything that he could ever need, and he is just praying to Agni that he won’t lose it.

~o~

The next day he wakes up before the sun rises, which is unusual. But there is a power in his body, in his blood. It’s making him restless, and he wants to start doing something. It’s a very slight change, and it takes him awhile to realize what it is.

He goes outside and finds the training area of the white lotus. Zuko thinks about meditating, but as soon as the thought passes his through his head he dismisses it. Immediately he goes through his fire bending motions.

He starts with the basics. Fists rushing forward and fire appearing a centimeter away from his fingertips. It feels hotter, and he is almost taken back at it’s heat. But he keeps going. He does the different types of punches, moving in a circle.

He then does his kicks. Legs soaring through the air, flames following his leg like a wave made of pure burning light. He starts to sweat after ten, but he ignores it, something within him giving him the energy to push forward. His feet are now barely on the ground, and if they are they are there for only a few seconds before he is back at jumping in the air. Flames surround him, and it is him and only him.

And before he knows it, the sun has risen. The flames giving him more power.

He never really understood Katara when she described always being surrounded by water, but now he understands. Fire is everywhere.

It’s a different type of high, the amazement something he can’t express. He keeps going, his moves becoming more and more complicated. He’s surrounded by orange and yellow, it’s so close to wrapping around him like a dangerous blanket.

“I see that you are feeling the power of comet.”

His uncle’s voice pulls him out of the daze that bending gave him.

“That’s what it was?” he asks.

His uncle nods, “Although it is not quite upon us, it being close brings a new type of energy to us who are blessed under Agni.”

He thinks about what his Uncle said, pondering it over and over. They have two more nights, tonight and then tomorrow night, the day after that will be the most important in history. “What will it feel like when the comet does come?”

“That,” Uncle begins with a stoic face, “I cannot tell you, I was not around last time the comet came. But I imagine that it will be tenfold what you feel right now.”

At first Zuko imagines the power, he imagines what it would be like to conjure up flames with that intensity. He imagines what it would be like to withstand that heat, because strong firebenders don’t suffer when it is hot. He imagines what he could do.

But then his mind takes a sharp twist, if he is feeling like that what would thousands of other firebenders feel. The damage they could do, he realizes how quickly that power could turn into destruction. He becomes sick when he realizes what his sister could do with that power, what his father could do.

A cold shiver travels up his spine in contrast of the heat he just previously made.

“That’s horrible.” He says, his brain coming up with the horrible things that his family could do, what he could do. Because there is a power inside him, inside all of his family, that could destroy everything. That would destroy everything if it had that chance.

Because he himself was once on that path, brainwashed not thinking that the Fire Nation was this great thing when it really wasn’t. He thinks about what he did before, all of his mistakes. He thinks about how he hurt the people around him, how he hurt himself.

It scares him, in all honesty, how horrible he was, how horrible he could be.

 _Enough_ , he thinks. _Enough of all this, we won’t think about this, we won’t think about this_ -

 _“Aaaaaaaahhhh!”_ A scream rips through the entirety of camp, and suddenly Zuko is running. His legs are sprinting beneath him, he doesn’t think he has ever run this fast before. And then there is another one, and another one. The screams are getting louder and more painful each time.

“Katara!” He yells, his eyes scanning frantically for her. She’s not outside, not by the water. It takes him too many moments to realize that she was still in her tent. Is there an attack? Is she hurt? Is she okay? The thoughts racing through his head while he runs in. “Katara!” He screams again, his heart a rushing mess, every heartbeat is another second passing with Katara in danger.

He scans the room, his eyes on her and only her. “Make it stop!” She yells, her hands clutching her head, she is curled up in a ball, eyes shut closed, “Make it stop!”

“Katara?” he asks, his voice gentle. “Katara, what’s wrong?”

She doesn’t acknowledge that he is here, but he moves closer to her anyways and climbs on the bed. He doesn’t care that his sweaty clothes ruin the clean sheets, he only cares about her. He places a hand on her arm, and calls out her name again. “Katara?”

There is no hiding the worry and concern in his voice, the way his heart is slowly breaking into pieces from seeing her in this type of pain.

Without answering him, or opening her eyes, she somehow ends up in his arms, her arms still gripping her head. “Make it stop.” She cries, her voice so hoarse that she can no longer scream, “Please make it stop.”

“Katara-“

“Zuko,” She whispers his name, as if she isn’t quite sure it is him. “Please make it stop.”

His whole entire world has just burned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Out of all the things in this chapter, the most important takeaway is that I think ZUKO IS A FUCKING BISEXUAL. I honestly have this idea, that like Zuko and Toph are both Bi, Aang is Pan, and Sokka is straight or may I say heteroflexible (straight but shit happens, or the definition of five bucks is five bucks).
> 
> Also, updates won't be as frequent seeing as I go back to school soon. Oh, the wonders that is the American Education System. 
> 
> Well I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and will come back to read the next.


	12. When an Ocean Burns

Her head feels like it will explode, it is throbbing, her senses are completely off. It is pounding, beating at her with the power of a hundred flames. She can’t think clearly. Everything is too hot, she is burning up, but something in her tells her that this isn’t even the end, she knows that it will get worse from here.

Katara screams, or maybe she didn’t. She can’t hear anything, she can’t feel anything.

She can’t feel the water around her.

She can’t feel the ocean.

She can’t feel the grass.

She can’t feel blood.

And this wasn’t like the spirit world either, or the day they lost the moon. Losing her bending only made her feel empty, it didn’t end up replacing the hollowness in her veins with pure fire.

 _It hurts_ , she thinks, and she just wants it to stop. _Why won’t it stop?_

She tries to open her eyes, tries to center herself, but she can’t do it.

She thinks her hands are gripped to her head, she’s not certain. She isn’t certain of anything. She has lost her connection to water, and now she has lost her connection to herself.

 _Make it stop_ , she wants to cry, or maybe she did cry. _Please make it stop._

Is this her punishment for killing men? For lying to her family? Is this the spirits torturing her for her sins. Is this her penance? She wants to say her reasons, she wants to explain why she did what she did. She wants to lie and say that she isn’t a monster. Anything to end this pain. 

_Make it stop, please make it stop._

She misses the ocean, she misses the water, she wants to be cold. But everything is fire, everything burns, everything is burning.

She is not sure if she is delirious or not, but she hears a voice calling out her name. Maybe that is just death taking her. She doesn’t care, she throws herself in whoever arms are there. She wants to be held, she is breaking- burning, and she needs somebody to keep her stable.

Her soul was meant for the ocean, it wasn’t meant for fire.

It’s Zuko she realizes, as a hand brushes through her hair, that’s Zuko. Only Zuko does that to her.

 _Zuko,_ she thinks a hopeless wish, _please make it stop_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just going to leave this here


	13. Without Water

“Katara!” Sokka rushes into the room, his eyes only searching for his baby sister. His hair is still down, and his clothes still rumpled from sleep. He then registers Zuko, and his eyes flash dangerously, “Did you do this?”

“No! I would never hurt Katara. Why would- why would you even think I would do that?” Zuko meets Sokka’s glare with his own. Zuko tightens his grip on Katara, pulling her closer, “I promise you, that I will never hurt her on purpose.”

“Then why is she-“ He can’t even form words properly.

Zuko shakes his head, “I don’t know. Sokka I don’t know.”

His voice breaks and he can’t help but hold her even more, tearing his gaze away from Sokka to look at the girl in his arms. She’s not screaming, but she’s shaking and whispering incoherent things over and over again. When he looks back at Sokka, the other boy’s eyes have widened as if he just pieced multiple things together. He opens his mouth to say something, but he is interrupted by a flash of green rushing into the room.

“Sugar Queen!” Toph’s voice is shaking, “What’s going on?”

“It’s Katara,” Sokka begins to explain. “She’s-“

“I know she’s not okay, Snoozles!” Toph yells back, pointing a finger at Sokka, “But why isn’t she okay?”

“I don’t know…”

“Then instead of just standing here why don’t you find somebody that knows what is wrong with her!” Her voice is louder than it normally is, Zuko feels the ground vibrating through his spot on the bed. Zuko notices the way her lips tremble, and the way she herself is shaking slightly. “Go get help!”

Sokka looks at Toph, and then Katara and finally at Zuko. Zuko nods his head, urging him to go. Sokka leaves the tent with one more final look at his sister.

Toph heads toward the edge of the bed, and Zuko can see the slight tears that are in her eyes, “I can’t lose you Sugar Queen. You promised me that everything would be okay.”

“Toph,” Zuko begins, but Toph ignores him.

“Sugar Queen, if there is something wrong with you I- I don’t think-“ Toph’s voice breaks, and she punches the edge of the bed. “Spirits be damned Sugar Queen! Katara what is going on?”

She isn’t crying yet, but she points a finger at Zuko, “I swear on the spirits if something happens to her I’m going to crush you boulders until your ass meets your skull.”

_“Me?”_

“You’re the one who is supposed to take care of her!”

Zuko doesn’t get to say anything, or have any other explanation because Sokka and his Uncle comes bursting into the tent, holding a cup of what looks and smells like tea. “Have Master Katara drink this.”

“What is it?” Zuko asks, “What’s it going to do? What’s wrong with her?”

“It’s going to put her back to sleep, calm her soul-“

“Is it going to stop her from being in pain?” Toph interjects, her face red and her hands curled into fists, “Because I swear Gramps if something happens to her I’m going to destroy this whole camp, and everything in a thirty mile radius.”

“Yes, young Toph, it should stop her from being in pain.” Iroh says, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. He hands the cup to Zuko. Zuko wasn’t aware how much he was trembling, but when he holds the cup the liquid inside it ripples and droplets of it pour out.

“Katara,” he whispers into her ear, “drink this, please drink this.”

He isn’t sure if she can hear him, but she’s still muttering words. “Pain…Spirits…. I…Monster….Sorry…” Over and over again, still gripping her head.

“Katara,” he urges again, “it will make the pain stop.” She stiffens in his arm, and he thinks she says something along the lines of _stop the pain_ , but he can’t be sure. “Drink it, Katara.”

He holds the cup to her lips, and while she never moves her hands from her head, she opens her mouth willingly and lets the liquid slip into her mouth. He lets out a sigh of relief, when her hands fall from her head. The muttering and the shaking has yet to cease, but it’s something.

“Nephew,” his Uncle says, reaching for him, “We need to leave Lady Katara to rest, the drug needs a chance to enter her system, and the best way for that to happen is for you to let her rest.”

“I’m not leaving her!” He exclaims, “I’m staying right here.”

“Yeah,” Toph says, “None of us are leaving Sugar Queen.”

“Guys,” Sokka intervenes, “Iroh is right, we need to let Katara rest. And you know Katara, she wouldn’t want you guys stressing over her.”

“But-“

“No, buts Toph.” Sokka places a hand on her shoulder, “We are going to let my sister rest and that is final.”

The blind girl crosses her arms, but conceds allowing Sokka to guide her outside. “Zuko,” he turns to him, “this goes to you too.”

Zuko swallows back any insults, and lets go of Katara. She’s no longer shaking, and her muttering is slowly coming to a stop. She’s going to go to sleep soon, he knows that. But it still hurts. He climbs off the bed, and follows the others out of the tent.

Iroh settles them at the eating grounds, and another member of the White Lotus hands out food. Zuko takes one look at the food, and decides he has no appetite. Suki is with them now, he realizes, she’s holding Sokka’s hand and trying to keep him calm.

It is Toph who speaks up, “Gramps what is wrong with her?”

“It is the comet,” He answers so calmly that Zuko feels the anger that he has taken so long to calm boil in his veins. “We think the imbalance leaves Waterbenders in pain. Master Pakku, our Lotus master from the North Pole, is also experiencing such pain. Though I am sorry to say, not as severely.”

“What do you mean, not as severely?” The mistrust in her voice is easy to recognize, “Is he not screaming in pain?”

“No, master Pakku is not in as much pain as Master Katara.”

“But why?” Sokka asks, speaking up for the first time, “Why is Katara-“ he gestures incoherently with his free hand, “like that and nobody else is?”

“Yeah,” Suki adds, “Why is she hurting?”

“We think it is because master Katara has one of the strongest bonds to her element that the world has seen in centuries,” Iroh explains, “I’ve heard rumors that Master Katara has abilities most waterbenders don’t. While I would not ask you to confirm such rumors, I do believe that Master Katara is one of the most skilled benders in this day and age. And since the water is her element and fire is the opposite, when fire grows stronger-“

“Water grows weaker…” Zuko finishes. Iroh nods his head. “Does that mean- do you think that she will…. Is it possible that she’ll lose her bending?”

Iroh’s face expression shifts from calm to worried, the lines on his face growing deeper and his brows furrowing slightly, “I do not know, my nephew. But I’m afraid it is a possibility.”

And Zuko can’t help but think how strong Katara is, how truly in tune with her element she is. She can make oceans part for her. She can twist a tree with a hand motion. Force a man to his knees with a flick of her wrist. There is water everywhere, and she can control all of it.

If she is screaming in pain now, what will happen when the comet comes. Will she be able to bend? Will she be able to fight? Would she be able to face his father? And the anxiety steps in, making his stomach a deep pit where every thought keeps falling in and then crawling its way back up. Fear and worry take root in his mind, and he can’t stop it.

Because without Aang, the plan was reliant upon Katara and now- Now there is no Katara.

“We are screwed,” he whispers to himself.

And then he looks up, and she’s right there.

Her face a mix of shock, and anger, and disappointment. All emotions crashing against each other, and he can tell because they are all there in her ocean eyes. Her arms are holding her waist, her mouth is hanging open slightly, her head is just the smallest bit tilted downward.

And he sees it in her, he sees the lost. Because he notices the water pouch at her hip, the lid uncovered and the water slowly dripping out of it.

 _It’s gone_ , is what she says to him through her body language and expression, and there are tears in her eyes and he is fighting the tears from forming on his.

_It’s gone._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, it's been some time. Well not that long, but you get the gist of it. I forgot how much i hated school, so much so that my body decided to go on shutdown, literally. "Hey, you aren't okay. You had an emotional breakdown, and aren't getting enough sleep and we keep warning you to take care of yourself but you still don't do it. So let us make you sick, so maybe, maybe you'll get some god damn rest." 
> 
> Ah, the joys of being an overachiever who apologizes to much, and takes care of others more than I take care of myself. Don't we love the American education system?
> 
> And hey, ya'll got an explanation of what happened to Katara. Whats going to happen next, you and I will find out next time "When I write something at 12 in the fucking morning, and maybe I need some sleep!!!" Kudos to ya'll who actually spent the whole time reading this terrible authors note.


	14. Tears of the Ocean

When she wakes up again, she feels hazy, she’s not in pain but she is most certainly uncomfortable. There is a slight burning in her center that she doesn’t quite understand. The fire of the sun now replaced with the slight burn of a match, not as intense but still pain, nonetheless.

Katara doesn’t understand what is going on, Tui and La, she barely remembers what was going on.

She remembers waking up in pain, and then being forced to drink something to fall back to sleep. And- and that’s it.

Something is off.

She sits up, and her head feels like it is spinning, but it isn’t pounding or burning. She does what she always does when faced with pain, fight past it. She pushes herself to get out of bed (well it is more of a cot, but she ignores that fact because after so much of her life laying on pelts and sleeping bags anything higher than the ground is a bed to her), she ignores the way each step feels like she is off center.

She feels heavy, maybe it is a headache.

It could be a headache.

She’s lying to herself, and she knows that. Because Katara is a liar, she is so many things but she’s a liar and a damn good one too.

She grabs her water skin and slings it across her, she opens the lid and tries to bend the water out. She does the movement, but nothing comes out. She does it again. And again. And again.

Nothing.

She wants to cry out, but she’s done enough of that.

She searches deep within her, her chakra and whatever other spiritual stuff Aang talks about. She looks for her connection to water, her connection to Tui and La, she wants to find it. There’s nothing. Absolutely nothing.

There’s only the slight burning sensation in her veins. No water, no soothing cold or striking ice, just warmth.

That isn’t right.

_That isn’t right._

_THIS ISN’T RIGHT._

She leaves her tent, running, and she ignores how each step hurts like fucking hell. How she feels so offbalance that she wants to fall to the ground with each second that passes. Every movement feels jerky, and strict so unlike her feeling of fluidity and calm. Something wrong, everything is wrong- nothing is right.

She finds the group at the eating grounds, or whatever it is called she didn’t pay that much attention to the small tour they were given.

She hears Iroh speak.

She hears him explain.

She hears Zuko’s question.

She hears the answer.

And she can’t stop the tears coming out of her eyes, because she is scared. Spirits she is scared, her arms are around her waist, her water skin still has liquid dripping out of it, each drop hitting the ground with a thud that must be her heartbeat.

It’s gone, she thinks, _it’s fucking gone._

She doesn’t care that she’s crying, because it is the closest she feels to water, because it is gone.

She wants to scream, and yell and curse but all she does is cry. Silently cry, because her bending is gone. She has so much inside her that she wants to let out, she wants to bend the oceans to her will. She wants to lift the entirety of the ocean off the face of the earth and drown everything, and everyone including herself, causing it to come crashing down with the power of her rage and anger and mourning all at once. She wants to express her emotions through bending so cruel and dangerous. She wants to freeze the hearts of men and women, she wants to force every person, plant, and animal to her will, because she can or she could have. 

All the power she had is gone, and while Katara won't ever admit it she loves power. She fucking loves power, and now her power is gone. She's selfish and rude, and cruel and dangerous. But now all of that, that other side of her is gone. No, both sides of her are gone. Because it's gone, all of her bending is gone. 

Sozin’s comet is coming, and this pain, this burning inside her will only become worse and she can’t- she can’t do anything about it.

She could die in the next few days, and she won’t have her bending.

It’s gone.

_It’s fucking gone._

Tears have never hurt so much.

And yet they are the few comforts she has.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just going to place this here. I swear it will get better in the next chapters or so. But till then, have this to add to your misery.


	15. Blood of Warriors

Katara walks away, and when the others try to follow her and stop her she tells them to leave her alone. She asks Toph to not worry about her, Suki to take care of Toph, Sokka to calm down and no, do not use the big brother tactic on her since she is always taking care of him, and to Zuko- to Zuko she says nothing.

Because she doesn’t know how to face him without wanting to break down. _Later_ , she hopes her eyes say, and she’s hoping he understands her. _Later, I’ll talk to you_. She sees guilt in his eyes that doesn’t belong there, she can tell it is knawing at him but she needs- she doesn’t quite know what she needs, but she knows that she wants to be alone.

She walks back to her tent, tears hanging on to her cheeks like ice holds on to rocks in winter, drying into the cracks and pores of her skin. She’s crying, silent sobs threatening to escape her lips, tears making her vision blurry. She’s about to lay back down on the bed, but then she sees it.

And then she’s sneaking out of her tent to go to someone else’s, past the Dragon of the West, Crazy King Bumi, she tiptoes past her former master, until she finds one of the few people who won’t make her feel completely lost.

She gathers what’s left of her courage and tries to push away her pride. She wipes the tears from her cheeks and holds her head up high. She’s not just a waterbender, she thinks, or maybe she is just a waterbender. But now, now she has the chance to become even more.

The people of the Southern Water Tribe is her blood. And as their war took their benders, and the comet took hers, the Water Tribe rises from the ashes with bare hands and teeth, and she decides that so shall she.

The man that looks back at her, raises an eyebrow and gives her a look that rivals the same one he gave to her brother the day he met Sokka. She meets his look with one of her own, her ferocity and anger staring him back down.

“I have one day,” She says, putting all of her emotions into words, making sure her voice carries the strength she knows she does not have, “One day to become a warrior, and I need you to help me.”

He looks her in the eyes, she can feel judgments and questions radiating off of him, but she refuses to stand down, flinch, or even be as polite to explain herself to the man. But he nods his head, and she smiles. 

And so they train.

It’s not perfect- it’s utterly terrible, really. She is no fighting master, no Kyoshi warrior, or pink acrobat, or sword wielding idiot who can take down a few guards. No- she’s Katara, a girl who is determined and refuses to back down.

And that’s good enough.

Piando takes what she has and teaches her the basics. She can throw a good punch, or two, adapting waterbending stances into a fighting technique that even Piando doesn’t quite understand, but when he looks shocked enough that she manages to dodge his kick and land an elbow to his gut without ever taking a step she figures that it is good enough. All that time spent watching Sokka, Suki, and Zuko sparring while doing house chores has paid off.

She learns that her ability to take down Giant-Eagle- Foxes in the South pole with nothing but a dagger and some rope, makes her capable of taking down a few men and then some. And after so long feeling heartbeats and veins, she knows exactly where to stab.

Piando doesn’t even bother commenting on her archery, saying that it was some of the best he has seen. While the rest of the group doesn’t know it, she’s gotten better. And that fresh meat they had each night was her hunting.

She’s not perfect, she’s not trained, but she certainly isn’t helpless.

~o~

_Little bonus, since this chapter is so darn short on its own._

Katara has something her brother doesn’t and that is a ferocity he has never seen in anybody but the likeness of Prince Zuko when he trained under the old master. Piando doesn’t know, whether if it is the urgentness of the situation that has her pushing herself to the limit, forcing her body to work quickly, or if that is in fact her natural state of being.

And while he certainly won’t admit it, the girl has a knack for picking things up that neither of the two boys ever got.

He isn’t quite certain that this is the same waterbender that he hears about through the stories of gossip from the other lotus members. _She’s kind_ , they say, _couldn’t harm anybody. Her heart is made out of gold, and her spirit is made out niceties._ These people he thinks only has seen the healer in her, and not the fighter that resides within her soul.

And to them he would say, _lies_.

This girl is sharp, and brutal. She knows the pressure points before he even mentions it to her, she knows exactly how long it would take for a human being to bleed out. And a heart made of gold, can’t be seen in those eyes of hers. He only sees ice, ready to freeze through the cracks of a broken girl. Her spirit is in the hurricanes and crashing waves of the ocean.

Piando knows that if he ever were to train her properly, he thinks he would be horrified at what would become of her. The girl was born a strong bender, and he knows that there are secrets hiding underneath those layers of niceties and kindness that makes her as strong as she is. And now, to see her potential as a warrior that could be trained in not only bending, but everything else- _truly horrifying._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So is this chapter short? Yes, very short. Should I write more and add to it? Probably. Will I do that? Absolutely not, because I need sleep, and time to do homework. Enjoy this chapter, you'll get more over the weekend.


	16. The Patience of Water

She’s not backing down, and while the others are off at their final war meetings deciding on what’s going to happen tomorrow, and whatever else they have to talk about, she’s pushing herself to learn as much as she possibly could.

She heads to the lake and washes the grime and sweat off her skin, and she doesn’t know how she feels about this. Because the water is _right there_ , right in front of her- but she can’t reach it. She has forgotten what it was like for her to put her feet in the water, and run her hands over the drops and not feel it call to her.

She’s forgotten what it is like to live in a world filled with silence, with nothing to fill the small heat in her veins.

She stares at the water when she is finished bathing and wants to curse at it. But she can’t curse Tui and La, she can’t curse Yue, and she would curse Agni, but she can’t curse at the spirits. So, she curses herself, for her failings. She whispers her greatest fears and regrets to the water, a part of her hoping the wind will carry it far, far away. And another hoping that if she says what drowns her, the weight that drags her down will also drown in the water. When it doesn’t, and no relief comes she goes back to her tent.

She has wet thick hair that has yet to dry, the curls refusing to cooperate like she normally forces them too. She’s forgotten what a hassle wet hair was.

Zuko is there waiting for her like he always is.

But it isn’t just him.

Toph is there standing right next to him, she has her arms crossed and her face is set up in an unrecognizable mix of emotions. It’s always been harder figuring out her emotions because she doesn’t always let Katara see her face to read it. She uses her bangs as an excuse to cover up her feelings and forget about them. A habit that Katara has been helping her break.

“Sugar Queen,” Toph begins, stomping over to Katara, she punches Katara in the shoulder. It’s not hard, it actually barely hurts, and Katara knows that Toph isn’t mad at her then. “Please don’t ever scare me like that again.”

The younger girl points a finger to Katara’s chest, or at least what she assumes is Katara’s chest but is really just her shoulder. “I hate you.”

“No,” Katara says, the faintest smile gracing her lips. She’s too emotional to actually smile, to actually feel something close to happiness or joy, “you don’t.”

“I know,” Toph admits. Toph’s eyes whether she knows it or not, softens. “and I hate that I don’t.”

“I’ll be fine Toph.” Katara says, taking the younger girl’s hands in her own. She rubs circles around her thumb, something she learned calms the girl down. “I’ll be fine.”

“Your lying,” The girl says with an accusatory tone, her petite features hardening, her hands grip Katara’s tighter. “Your lying and you know it. Katara you said everything will be okay- you said that it’ll be fine.”

“Toph, I mean it. I truly do-“

“No, you don’t. You don’t mean it Katara and you know it.”

“Toph, _please._ ”

“Katara,” Toph punches Katara’s shoulder again, her arm shaking and her punch barely touching her shoulder, “I need you to stop lying to me. You said things would be okay, you said you’d be okay. And then this morning happened and you weren’t. You weren’t okay Katara, and when you did wake up, you ran away from us.”

“Toph I can explain that-“

“You said it yourself, we are family,” She’s hitting Katara’s shoulder again, this time not even hitting her. All around the two of them rocks are shaking, pebbles vibrating at the speed of Toph’s heartbeat. “ _You’re my family_ , and I know- I know you have to take care of us all the time, and I know that- that we are a lot. But we need you- I needed you. And tomorrow we are all separating, and Aang’s gone already and then you went off on your own. This could be the last time we have together, and we aren’t-we weren’t even together. I-“

She’s broken off by a sob that wrecks through her body, and a feeling that Katara can’t describe is filling her. Because she did run away from Toph, so she pulls the girl closer, she pulls Toph to her chest and hugs her.

“You are scared,” Katara whispers into her hair, “You needed stability and there wasn’t anybody to give it to you; I wasn't there to give it to you.”

“I had-“ Hiccup, and tears, “Sokka and, and Suki-“ Another sob, tears staining Katara’s clothes, “And Zuko, but I- I needed you. And I’m sorry.”

Katara wipes the tears from Toph’s eyes, “What are you sorry for?”

“For you having to take care of us, and having to sacrifice your life for ours.”

“Don’t apologize for that,” Katara says it so quickly she’s not sure the words left her mouth. “I love you guys, and I love you. And just as I had the right to be angry at you guys before, you have the right to be angry at me…It’s okay Toph,” She whispers, “It’s okay to have emotions and it is okay to be angry at people you care about.”

Toph has so much going on in her head, and Katara hates how the girl never learned how to properly handle emotions. She couldn’t be herself with her parents, she couldn’t express herself as the Blind Bandit, she didn’t know how to be with other people when travelling with them, and now she doesn’t know how to handle the emotions in her heart. She’s broken like they all are. _Tui and La_ , Katara hopes it will be better when the war is over- if the war ends.

“But I don’t want to be mad,” Toph admits quietly.

“Only people who are scared of being good want to be angry.”

In the corner of her eyes, Katara notices Zuko tensing. She looks at him, but he avoids her gaze. If she could feel his blood, then she might have been able to understand his emotions more clearly. But he feels something towards what she just said, and she isn’t going to bother him.

“Hey,” Katara says, hugging Toph tighter, “You have me right now.”

Toph sniffs, and puts on her best attempt at a smile which is really nothing more than a frown, “I know, Sugar Queen.”

“Why don’t you head over to my tent, and then you can spend the night with me?” Katara offers, unsure if Toph will accept her attempt of mothering her.

Toph nods her head and mutters what Katara thinks to be a _fine Mom_ , or something along those lines. The girl begrudgingly walks away and into Katara’s tent, where Katara is certain she will take one of Katara’s pillows and curl up around it.

Katara is tired, her body is tired from trying to absorb fighting techniques from Pakku all day. Her mind is tired, from stress about what is yet to come. Her heart is tired, tired from having to constantly take care of other people and forgetting to take care of herself. And her soul, her soul is burning.

She doesn’t want to know what it will feel like tomorrow when the comet does arrive.

Toph was right, she’s not okay.

While whatever Zuko gave her earlier has helped stop her from feeling as if her body is a flame pit, she does feel uncomfortably warm and she knows she is slowly getting hotter. The tea or whatever it was is slowly wearing off and she knows that she can’t keep staying up or much longer.

A cloth bag is placed into her hands, the material course and slightly itchy. “It’s the drug I gave you earlier, when…” He doesn’t say exactly what happened earlier, but she gets what he is trying to say to her, “You can place it in water with a few herbs and you can have it like a tea, or you can just swallow it as is. The green one will help you sleep, and the blue one is for when you are awake. Uncle wanted me to give it to you.”

If she had the energy to smile at him she would have, and she accepts the gift graciously, “Thank you, Zuko.”

“Don’t thank me,” He says, “Thank Uncle.”

“I know,” She answers, “But thanks, for taking care of me and the others.”

When he looks at her, she understands that it was never even a question. That’s Zuko, and he’s loyal. He finds a goal and he stick to it, he doesn’t give up. He pushes and pushes and pushes until there is nothing left to shove. Zuko is more like her element then she is, water always keeps moving. It may change its path and it might decide to go another direction- but it always keeps going.

People seem to think that water is patient, but it’s not.

Water has never been patient; it can try to wear down the same rock for years without a goal but that doesn’t mean it ever stops. Water while still pushing will pull back and work around something, always coming at something from different angles.

 _And that’s Zuko_.

She pulls him to her, wrapping her arms around his neck, “Can I kiss you?”

Can she tell him how much she loves him?

Can she hold onto him?

He nods yes to her one question, and maybe if she worked up the courage and asked him the other questions he would nod yes to the others. Even though she knows he would answer yes, there is the logical side of her that reminds her that she can’t ask all of this of him. Because after tomorrow things won’t be the same, and she doesn’t know if she will be the same, if they will be.

If they win, he becomes Firelord and then she does what?

She can’t stay with him forever and being fair, she doesn’t want to. She loves him, or she thinks she does, but she’s young and she is not ready to stay in one place. She still needs to do things on her own, and the small voices in the back of her head say that the Firenation would never accept her.

And if they lose…

She doesn’t think about it, she refuses to think about it.

And while she’s not a fairy tale princess, and Zuko certainly isn’t a fairy tale prince (he’s far from it, but he’s come a long way). And while she isn’t stupid or dumb and constantly searching for love. She isn’t looking to forget all her problems with a kiss from a boy, but she’s just asking for reassurance from a person who sees her for who she is.

So, when she kisses him, she tries to ask him _will you be there for me?_

And when he places a hand on her waist, his answer is that it’s not even a question.

And when she traces the red skin of his scar, she asks _will you let me be there for you?_

There’s a pause, the smallest one, his hand leaves her waist, and he pulls away from her to look her in her eyes. “You don’t have to feel obligated to take care of me, just as you don’t want me to feel obligated to take care of you.”

His forehead touches hers, “I see you, Katara. Remember that.”

“I know.”

~o~

She knows that Toph is waiting for her in her tent, and that Zuko is okay with staying up and talking to her for as long as she needs him for, but there is one more person she needs to see. Even though they still had some of tomorrow, she knew that goodbyes were always meant to be private and she couldn’t let this one be public.

“Sokka,” She calls out into the tent that her brother and his girlfriend shares.

“Katara?” Her brother opens the flap, “Shouldn’t you be in bed?”

“Shouldn’t you?”

He ignores her question, and rubs his eyes, “How are you feeling?”

“Better.”

“Your bending?”

“Still gone.”

“I’m sorry, little sister.”

“Don’t be.”

“But-“

“But nothing.”

And that is it. Her brother is her family, but he can’t take care of her like he wants to. She’s grown up, and she’s strong. And she can say the same about him too.

“I love you,” She says urgently, the words pouring out of her. “Before tomorrow, I want you to know that.”

“I love you too.”

And he hugs her back, holding her tightly. She’s always had her brother, no matter where she has been or what she has gone through she has always had Sokka. From the South Pole, to the North. They traveled from the Earth Kingdom and to the Fire Nation, and she has always had Sokka.

She doesn’t know who let go first, but she’s uncertain if it was the stress of tomorrow or the separation from her brother that makes her shake and want to scream. She stares up at the moon, which is barely there, nothing but a crescent. It doesn’t matter, she thinks, if the moon was full. She still wouldn’t be able to draw power from it. Here in the light of a barely-there moon, she swallows her first pill and hopes that it will calm the nerves that rage inside her, like a stampede of Rat-Elephants.

 _Tui and La, Yue and Agni, Hei Bei and Koh_ , she thinks of the names of all the spirits she knows _, the Blue Spirit and the Painted Lady_ … Help her, help her make it through tomorrow, and if she can’t make it through help the others get through. She repeats their names as if the process will bring her hope. She thinks about it as she lies down next to a snoring Toph. She thinks about all the people who are out there and are gone, her allies and her family. Teo, The Duke, Pipsqueak, Haru, her father…her mother.

And finally-

“Aang,” She whispers to nobody in particular, her last thought before finally falling asleep, “You better get your ass over here and save the fucking world.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, hope ya'll enjoy it. And I'm telling you right now, the next few chapters will be f u n. (For me to write, not sure about you guys, but we will see)


	17. War

“Katara,” He looks at her, gold eyes pleading, “Will you come with me to defeat my sister?”

There’s a silence, Toph stiffens next to her, and her brother’s eyes flicker over her, Suki frowns and Iroh watches as the most powerful person there waterbending or not makes her decision. Katara grips her knife that Piando gifted to her, a true Southern Water Tribe relic made out of Hunting-whale bones, carved with the song of her people. She smiles at him, “I would love to.”

There is an unspoken agreement between them.

She never told them about the shared dream with Aang, but she knows that he won’t question her decision.

“But what about Ozai?” Sokka asks, “Who will fight him?”

“Aang will,” Katara answers, quickly- firmly. Her voice the steadying power it has always been. “He’ll show up, and he’ll take Ozai down.”

She looks up at her companions, friends, family, lovers and strangers surrounding her. She’s not the leader, she isn’t the hero, she isn’t the royal, she isn’t the child, she isn’t the wise one; but she’s fucking Katara and Katara is the one who holds people together.

“She isn’t lying,” Toph says, her eyebrows furrowing together.

“No, I’m not.”

“What about the rest of us?” Suki asks, “What do we do?”

All eyes turn to Sokka, the plan maker, the leader. “We stop the airships. Toph, we will need you and your metal bending.”

Toph smiles and nods her head, cracking her knuckles. “Then it’s decided, it is time to kick some Fire Nation ass.”

There is a sad sort of feeling that washes over them, today is the day and tonight they are going to risk everything they have. They could die, Aang already warned her, it’s a possibility. Her heart is beating in her chest, and if she still had her connection to water she’s a hundred percent certain she wouldn’t be hearing just hers. Across from her Zuko is drumming his fingers against his thigh, Suki’s knee is bouncing and Sokka’s hand is gripping Suki’s.

“Good luck to all of you,” Iroh speaks, “May Agni, and the other spirits stand behind you tonight.”

~o~

She’s grabbing her weapons when her old master comes to her. There are at least three daggers strapped to her hip, a bow and arrow at her back and she wears the armor of her people, and a warrior braid in her hair.

“Master Pakku,” She greets the man, a knife in between her fingers when he comes in.

“Master Katara,” He says in return. “I’ve come with a gift.”

In between his hands is a necklace and at the end of the necklace is a small vile, and if she’s correct the vial holds-

“Spirit water.”

Pakku nods, “This is for you.”

“But I can’t-“

“You can’t bend, but this will give you the chance too,” He tells her, taking the necklace and placing it in her hands, “Drink this when you can’t defend yourself with a blade, it should return your powers for a short while. _But be careful_. The water-“ He pauses, “spirit water is extremely powerful, and it is hard enough for waterbender to bend but it is even more dangerous to consume.”

Her eyes are wide, and while she accepts the warning she can’t help the way her mind is reeling with the idea of being able to bend again. Power, her mind tells her, to be powerful again. “Dangerous how?”

“It can kill you, Katara.” He snaps, but it isn’t aggressive, concern laces his voice. “If you aren’t strong enough this power will kill you. Right now you don’t have your bending, but with this you will have it ten-fold, please be careful.”

_Be careful_

_Be careful_

_Be careful_

Memories of her mother telling her to be careful when bending, her father warning her not to use that spear, her brother telling her not to fight Pakku, Aang not wanting her to hurt people…

Everybody wants her to be careful, and stay safe. But she doesn’t want to, this is war- _war_.

She grits her teeth, and bows to Pakku, “Thank you Master Pakku.”

~O~

For some reason Katara doesn’t feel like crying.

She’s not scared, she is calm- scarily so.

Sokka’s tears stain her shirt as he hugs her goodbye, and Toph is trembling slightly and doesn’t want to let her go. Suki gives her a hug, and looks her in the eyes and tells her how strong she has become, and even Iroh can’t fight the single tear that slips from his eye as he holds her hand and tells her to be safe.

Zuko has stopped hiding his emotions, as he bids his goodbyes he too has water swelling in his eyes.

And if they are going to comment on her lack of emotion, they don’t do it and for that she is grateful. She can’t handle the questions, she can’t handle the reasons her emotions are gone and have seemingly left her.

She thinks it might be the drugs in the tea, making her calm.

Whatever it is, she doesn’t ponder on it for long.

A war is going to end, and she has no choice but to win.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while, and I don't have any other excuses other than saying I've been sick, school is a thing and I have applications to do and stuff like that so writing hasn't been my priority. But in a few chapters, we will be finished, and I'm warning you I am putting my own spin on the finale we know and love.


	18. Sword to the Neck

Arriving at the palace is a whirlwind, and being quite honest she doesn’t remember much of it. Her headache is insane but tempered because of the drugs and beside her Zuko is on a rampage. Hopping off Appa she doesn’t even have a second to take in the amount of guards surrounding her as Zuko is sending- no breathing fire at them.

There is a literal fire in him that has no bounds, and she watches as red flames take over the spot where they landed.

She watches his punches and kicks, with pride because that is her friend- her Zuko fighting.

The pride doesn’t last long when a plume of flames is directed towards her and she only has a millisecond to pull out her bow. She’s rolling on the ground and finding a pillar to hide behind, as she readies an arrow at a guard ten feet away from her. She doesn’t event take the time to register where it lands as she has another arrow in her hand, shooting and aiming at men.

One comes up behind Zuko, and before anybody can speak there is an arrow in place of his heart. It feels like the fight has suddenly paused. As blood seeps onto Zuko’s red tunic, and the man falls to the ground while Katara stands away from the pillar. She takes in what she just did.

She sucks in a breath; _she killed a man_.

_She killed a man._

_In cold blood._

_An arrow through the heart_.

_And she doesn’t care._

Or maybe she does, but right now she doesn’t have time to care for anything but her safety and Zuko’s. “Be careful!” She calls out to the Fire Prince, ignoring the way how he is looking at her, the body, and the blood on his skin. “Don’t go and die without me!”

And the fight continues.

Flames fight flames, and arrows fly through the courtyard. She elbows people in the ribs, and punches people in the face, sticks knives in their guts only to remove them and keep marching forward. Her body aches, and there are cuts along her arm, but she pushes past that. She has a mission and she must complete that mission.

Everything around her is chaos.

People cry for their mothers, and she lets out prayers to her own mother. Some beg for their children, and she thinks about hers, the children she left behind to fight a war across the world. A soldier whispers the name of her husband, and she has to push away the fact that she empathizes with her.

She has killed so many people, hurt so many more on the other side of the war. Killing is easy- so fucking easy, but what is harder is not killing yourself afterwards.

These people are like her.

They have families, and friends, and homes.

They have loved ones.

 _They are alive_.

And she’s fighting them.

She freezes mid-fight while a man holds a sword towards her, his face cut with a slash from her knife. She was supposed to attack his weak right knee, stab his gut, and slam her elbow somewhere where it will hurt. Its so simple.

_So, fucking simple-_

_But it isn’t not._

The two sides of her clash as the look of fear in his eyes dawn on her, she watches the way he whispers the name of each of his children as he fights. Five names, over and over again. She has been fighting him for ten minutes, one of the last few guards between her and the Fire Princess. She’s been fighting him for so long, she thinks she could feel the love he has for his children. She knows their names, and their ages, and the color of their hair. He whispers their favorite colors and favorite food underneath his breath, with every minute that passes she becomes more familiar with the man that she fighting.

 _Kill him_ , says one side, the monster waiting to be unleashed.

Why?

_Because this is war._

But why? The other side asks, why is this war?

It is a moral dilemma; one she thinks she should have had long ago. She lets out a scream, and tries to fight the guard off, but she doesn’t aim right because her head is too preoccupied by headaches and thoughts that she falls to the ground instead.

Her left shoulder burns on impact, and she doesn’t have time to turn herself over and get back into the fight. She feels the sword on her neck before she can face him, she feels the cold edge pressing into her skin.

 _Do it_ , her mind screams but her voice can’t find the words. _Kill me now_.

Death, she thinks. She wants to die, she wants all of this to be over. She wanted to help people all over the world but now she has killed so many. She wanted to be a hero but now she is a monster. What is wrong with her?

She has kept all of these thoughts inside her for so long, trying to be happy and positive for everybody. She tried to be organized and strong. But she failed.

She was supposed to be a child, a child. A girl growing up in the South Pole, one that would never know danger and now here she is. A sword to her neck in the Fire Nation.

She feels the edge so close to her skin, _cut me_.

“You are just a child.”

The guard turns her over roughly, her back hurts and her shoulder hurts even more.

“Kill me.”

“How old are you girl?” There is hatred in his voice, between the tears in her eyes she sees him looking over his fallen comrades and guards. She hates how apart of her is proud, and she hates how apart of her feels guilty.

She wants to stop feeling.

She wants to die.

“Kill me.”

“No.”

“Kill me.”

She wants to cry and sob, she wants to bend his blood and make him do it. She doesn’t know where Zuko is, but she hopes he isn’t near her. She lost him awhile ago, too caught up fighting this guard.

“You’re the daughter, right?” The man asks, and she doesn’t have the strength to ask whose daughter. She’s the daughter of a murdered women, a daughter of a women who died for her. She’s the daughter of a Chief who left her to fight a war, a daughter of a man who didn’t raise her. Her grandmother used to call her the daughter she never had, an old lady who was lonely. The ocean claimed her as her daughter, giving her the gift to bend blood. She’s somebody’s daughter.

“The Chief was here,” The guard says, “He talked about you when he was in jail before he was in the boiling rock. He saved me from a boulder on the Day of The Black Sun.”

The man drops his sword, it rattles to the ground next to her. His hands come near her and she wants to scream, and maybe she does she isn’t quite sure. He picks her up and helps her to her feet.

“I don’t like you, but I don’t like fighting either.” He explains even though she didn’t ask for it, “I don’t like this war. I killed some of your father’s men, like you killed some of the soldiers. But he saved me, and now I’ll save you.”

“Why?” She croaks, her voice barely a whisper.

“Because a child shouldn’t be begging to die in the midst of battle.” He slings her arm over his shoulder and for some reason brings her closer to the door that blocks them from the Fire Princess. “I don’t like you, but you are an adult when you shouldn’t be and I- I respect that.”

Zuko is at the door, and stares at her emotions are swirling around his eyes as he watches her and this guard.

“What happened?” He asks.

The guard answers, “We fought.”

“And?”

It’s Katara who answers, as the guard lets go of her, the answer to all of this becoming more and more complicated.

“What more is there?”

She looks at the man who should have killed her and bows at him as best as she can. “Thank you.”

He nods, “End this war, and then thank me.”

The guard hands Zuko a golden key, and points to the door. “She’s in there, Prince Zuko. I hope you are ready.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been busy because of school, projects after projects after projects. I wrote this chapter because I just wanted to give a glimpse that Katara does still have feelings, and she isn't okay. And while it isn't the best chapter, I do like it and I hope you do too.


	19. Parallels

Katara doesn’t even have the time to acknowledge the fact that Zuko and Azula are facing off each other, looking back on it she knows that Azula challenged him, and she knows that Zuko accepted, and she knows that Zuko shoved her behind a pillar, but she really can’t remember how it all happened. Her brain is still on fighting mode, she doesn’t think her brain can handle the slow motions and her memories only focus on the fight.

_It is terrifying._

Blue meets orange blow to blow, walls of flame that reach the heights of the palace. Azula’s hair is loose, and unkempt, pieces falling in front of her eyes. Zuko’s scar seems to turn different colors in the face of the flames, the red skin gleaming with sweat. Even though they are both fighting for their lives it looks like they are dancing, brother and sister swirling around each other, surrounding the other in heat.

 _It is beautiful_.

She can hear snippets of their conversation over the roar of the flames.

Azula aims a kick to Zuko’s face, “Mother always loved you.”

Zuko gets rid of the blue fire, matching it with a punch of his own. “She loved you too.”

Punches, and kicks littered with burning fire, and flashes of light. Azula runs around him and Zuko deflects it. She slides and he counters. She’s more aggressive then her usual fighting style, not caring if her form is the slightest bit off. She continues, but her arm misses the wrong way and Zuko almost, almost lays a finger on her.

She’s tiring, Katara realizes.

But Zuko has realized this too, when the two of them are close to where they are starting except this time it seems that this time Zuko has the upper hand. She’s tired, Katara can hear Azula’s breathes from across the yard.

From Katara’s vantage point she can see the difference in the Fire Nation royalty. Where the princess used to stand tall, and controlling, proud- she now looks broken, and a monstrous shell of what she used to be.

Zuko on the other hand, is calm. His face resembles a face of warriors carved into stone, and she isn’t sure who she is looking at.

“Is that all you have Azula?” He taunts, eyes narrowing slightly. His sister flinches (she forgot they were related, and that is the scary part), and she lets out a sound that sounds similar to a growl. “No lightning today?”

Katara’s heart stops. The world has taken its breath, and everything seems to still as she waits for Azula’s response. One heartbeat. Two. Three. Four. Five.

The girl meets her brother’s eyes.

The girl lifts her head up higher, tangled bangs reaching her eyes like brown knives covering pieces of ivory skin.

The girl's lips twitch.

The girl wears a cruel, and evil smile that makes the waterbender freeze.

 _She’s a girl_ , Katara has to remind herself, _she is a girl just like me_. _Not much older than me. Just like me_ …Because Katara could be like that. Just as cruel, and evil. Just as calm and controlling. Just like her.

“I’ll show you lightning.”

.

.

.

.

.

They say that when you are going to die you think about your life.

.

.

.

.

They say you remember the great things you did.

.

.

.

.

.

They say you learn the secrets of the world.

.

.

.

.

Katara wants to know who those people are, and how they died. Because all she could think about was how she was just like the person about to kill her.

Azula points two fingers out into the air, lightning forms near her, and in a split-second point those fingers at Katara.

.

She is going to die.

.

.

Electricity flashes in the air,

bright blinding light,

full of power,

right at her.

.

.

.

Katara closes her eyes shut, waiting for the lightning to hit her. She’s ready, so fucking ready to die. Thank you, she wants to thank Azula, the girl who is her parallel. But then the lightning hasn’t hit her. There is no searing pain in her chest, no ignorant bliss.

In fact, she can still feel her hands, and her body.

She opens her eyes and looks in front of her- “Zuko!” The word’s tear out of her lungs before she can even register what she is saying. “Zuko!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have I not been writing for over a month? yes. Have I wanted to do that? No. Did I lose most of my loyal readers? I'm fairly certain. Is there a viable excuse besides school? Absolutely not, the American education system is hell. Did my writing style become worse and more complicated? Yes, because that is what happens when I don't practice in over a month. 
> 
> I apologize to everybody, so I hope you enjoy.


	20. To Die in Peace

Katara closes her eyes shut, waiting for the lightning to hit her. She’s ready, so fucking ready to die. Thank you, she wants to thank Azula, the girl who is her parallel. But then the lightning hasn’t hit her. There is no searing pain in her chest, no ignorant bliss.

In fact, she can still feel her hands, and her body.

She opens her eyes and looks in front of her- “Zuko!” The word’s tear out of her lungs before she can even register what she is saying. “Zuko!”

Azula looks her dead in the eyes, amber meeting blue.

She can’t breathe.

Her first instinct is to find blood, but she can’t bend. She has no bending. Fuck, she thinks. She runs from Azula and hides. She wants to run to Zuko, but he is too far away and Azula would kill her before she could.

Katara can’t feel her heart.

She can’t breathe.

She can’t bend.

The world seems to be collapsing around her, and she can’t do anything. She’s useless. She only has a dagger, and a bow and arrow, those won’t work against Azula. Especially not an Azula high on the power of the comet.

An ocean of flames sweep across the courtyard, and the pillar she is standing against heats up what feels like a hundred degrees hotter.

“Come on out Water Tribe bitch.” Azula howls, her voice is enough to send electric currents down Katara’s voice. “ZuZu can’t protect you if he’s dead.”

Katara chances a peek from behind the pillar, she sees Azula’s hair that is half burnt off, the burnt pieces of clothes, the blue fire surrounding her. Electricity seems to be surrounding her, blue sparks dance around her head like a crown.

Katara freezes, her hand immediately shoots up to her mother’s necklace _. I’ve disappointed you, Mom. I let Zuko die. I’m sorry, Sokka. I’m sorry, Toph. I’m sorry, Aang._ She lists names, and names as her hope bitterly dies off piece by piece. She can’t feel anything but pain. It is so hot around her, and she wishes she was back at the South Pole. Why did she leave? She should have stayed in her fucking igloo and save herself the trouble. She should have… _what should she have done?_

She doesn’t remember. She can’t think, and her eyes are closing shut. Her senses are dulling. There is smoke. There are flames. There is heat. But that’s it. She vaguely hears the sound of maniacal laughter, but that could just be the spirits inviting her to die. Spirits, it is hot.

It is so hot, and her head hurts so much she thinks her brain is melting.

_I miss snow._

_Snow._

A burst of blue flames almost touches her skin, as her eyes close shut.

Cold.

She feels the fire lulling her to sleep, telling her that it is okay to give up.

Water.

Sweat drips down her forehead, her tunic is soaked with it. She doesn’t think her body can produce anymore.

She wants water, she thinks miserably _. I think I’m dying and all I want is water._ Her hand drops from her mother’s necklace, but then she feels something else attached to her neck. A string, with the strength of a butterfly-dragon, she picks up the string to find a small tube of liquid inside it. She opens the tube and sees the answer to her dying wish.

_Water._

She licks her parched lips; her tongue is dry she thinks it is cracking as she does so. She can barely manage to move her arm to life the tube to her lips. There is only enough for three drops, but she takes each drop greedily. It’s so cold, she thinks, as the South Pole in the winter. The middle of a snowstorm. Ice in the middle of the Southern Sea. Memories of men killing her mother. Sharp and cold.

Her eyes close.

She can die in peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys must fucking hate me by now. Truth is, I don't have time to write large sections and I also just want to practice writing pain, and being disoriented soo this is the end product (I'm truly sorry). But I'm fairly certain that this story will be over in 3-4 chapters, so you guys can look forward to the ending.


	21. When Two Sides Meet

Cold.

It is too fucking cold.

She lies in the middle of fucking flames.

Her eyes shoot open, and she sees a sky of red, littered with blue flames. This isn’t what the world is supposed to look like. The sky shouldn’t be that color, her brain still not recovered from nearly dying, and still muddled from spirit water can’t really comprehend anything.

But then she can feel it, she feels the water, she feels the ocean miles and miles away, she feels every plant around her, she feels the heartbeats of two other people near her.

She feels the water.

Cold.

She feels cold.

She feels water.

Hope isn’t lost.

She stands up, the power of the ocean spirits freezing her soul.

“There you are, you Water Tribe Bitch.” Azula faces her, eyes narrowed in an electric stare. “I’m going to kill you.”

Katara registers the lightning aimed at her, but grabs water from the dead grass and uses that to shield her throwing it back towards the girl. Memories of hunting with her father flood her water, ice, animals, and blood. The most basic properties of the Water Tribe.

Cold fills her veins, ice shows up on her fingertips.

She pulls more water from the grass and lashes a water whip at the princess, who in turn extinguishes it with a fire whip to meet her own.

Katara used to think that fighting Zuko was truly fighting her opposite, and thinking about it, she was right. But fighting Azula, she thought was fighting herself. Because the girl was just like her.

A wave of water versus a wall of flames.

When Azula tried to strike lightning at her, Katara threw ice daggers.

_Ice_

_Lightning_

_Water_

_Flame_

_Snow_

_Smoke_

Azula tried to burn her bad shoulder, but Katara managed to freeze her legs to the ground. Azula easily burned through it, blue flames shattering the ice like spirits fighting their way into the human world. They were easily matched.

Katara was freezing, her skin starting to turn the same shade of blue as her eyes.

And Azula burned, pink scars littered her skin, scars the same color as her brothers flame.

Water never managed to hurt fire, and fire never managed to hurt water.

They only managed to hurt themselves.

But time was running out, the spirit water could only freeze the fire fighting for control over her blood for so long, and Katara like Azula was slowly losing her sanity. Both girls were growling, teeth bared and nails lashing, arms pushing and pulling towards each other battling for control.

Soon it wasn’t a matter of who was better, but who had more pride.

Memories that weren’t Katara’s started to fill her brain, driving her crazy. Drinking from the spirits sacred lake, was never a safe idea. It was blessed by the spirits, but just the same cursed by them too.

She felt flashes of the ocean on her skin, even though saltwater was miles away.

She felt the moon calling to her, even though Yue had yet to reveal her face.

She felt the push and the pull, the ocean and the moon, the blood and the water, Yin and Yang, earth and air, fire and water.

She didn’t realize it, but the souls of the spirits were inside her.

Azula lashed out at her, a breath of fire meant to roast her alive. Katara defended it by flinging herself into the air with a ramp made of ice. She landed on the fenced ground and felt the water running beneath her.

“Come and get me, Azula,” She taunted, the voices of the spirits mixed with hers and a faint thought wondered if this is what Aang felt like when going into the Avatar State.

Her equal narrowed her eyes and came running towards Katara. Katara could feel every footstep, she felt every beat of Azula’s heart. Katara closed her eyes. Wait for it- wait for it.

Wait,

wait,

Now.

Katara lifted her hands up, Azula’s fingers were pointed right in front of her. She could feel the heightened heartbeat of the girl who was about to blast her to pieces, but Katara has frozen her before she even got the chance. 

Katara loosens her hold on the water, something she wasn’t quite sure she could do and grabs the chains below her. Fingers used to tying sailors’ knots with thick ropes, and hunting knots for traps kick in as she ties Azula’s wrist to the ground, holding her down like she was a polar bear dog.

Katara guides the water into moving her away, she can feel the ice inside her melting, she is going to burn again. With one final push of her hands Katara drops the water holding both her and Azula up. The world is quiet for a second, the only thing in her ears is the sound of two heartbeats, one beating with rage, and one with dying breaths.

Katara is running across the courtyard faster than she ever thinks she has in her life.

“Zuko,” She whispers, pulling out water from the ground, water from the air, water. The ice inside her is melting and she doesn’t have much time.

His eyes are closed, and she struggles to keep hers open.

She uses her other hand to manipulate the blood, taking her last drops of water in her soul. He’s healing she thinks, as she focuses on the fluids, feeling the muscles and the skin painstakingly heal themselves back together. It is sloppy work, it will scar, and it might hurt later on, but he will live.

He’ll live.

Her time is fading, her skin is turning blue faster than she thought it would.

His breathing evens out while hers becomes more ragged.

A hand touches hers, golden eyes reveal themselves, her heart pieces itself together again, She never thought hearing his voice would make her happier, “Thank you, Katara.”

“I think I should be the one thanking you.” She tries to grip his hand tighter; she tries to tell him she loves him, she really does. But her eyes are struggling to stay awake, the ice has melted, and her soul has shattered.

 _We won_ , she thinks, as the red fades from the sky.

But while her eyelids flutter to a close, she hears the fallen princess’s howling in the background, _but at what cost?_

For the first time she thinks ever, the two sides of Katara finally met.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to just, you know, leave this here.


	22. We Made It Out Alive and That is What Matters

When the Fire Sages try to guide him away from Katara he can’t breathe, her skin is blue and her eyes are closed. He wants to yell for her, scream for her, tell the servants that try to touch her that he will burn their eyes off if they lay a finger on her.

He would do all this,

but

he

_can’t._

Because he can barely form words,

he can barely stand,

he can barely breathe,

he can barely live.

But what he can do is _cry_. _Cry_ for the girl that is now so far from him, _cry f_ or the girl that he wanted to save, _cry f_ or the girl he loved. He doesn’t fight the tears that fall, because the girl he cares about is gone from this world, lost her mind, and sacrificed herself for her belief.

And he cries not only for Katara,

he cries for his sister.

He lost two women today,

and he lost so much more because of this war.

And it isn’t fair, nothing in his life is fucking fair.

They are gone, one insane. They are gone, the other dead. Who was he to think that this story would end with a happy ending? What type of fool was he to think that he would make it out of this war without losing anything? What type of fool was he to have hope?

Such a fucking fool.

Tears keep pouring, and he thought he understood what it was like to mourn before. He thought he knew what it was like to lose the important things in his life, but he was wrong. Tears fell from his eyes, and sadly his heart kept beating while the doctors, medics, and healers surrounded him.

The war is finally over. He swore he would do anything for the war to end, but now- now he wishes that peace didn’t cost this much.

~o~

When he dreams, he dreams of Katara. He thinks about the different times he met her.

The first time in the cold of the South Pole, the anger and mistrust in those eyes, concern for her brother who he pushed off. His conscience flinches at his mistake.

The time he tied her to a tree, using her necklace as bait.

The time he fought her in the North Pole, perhaps the first time his heart fluttered while meeting her eyes. He remembers the way she moved, determination he had never seen in her before but he would soon become familiar with.

When she offered to heal his Uncle, the pure sincerity in her voice.

When he betrayed her in Ba Sing Se, the glare she gave him when he turned on her.

The time with the Southern Raiders, how she was ready to kill. Her hands set in stone, the ice centimeters above the former general’s heart. He doesn’t quite know why she didn’t kill him, especially since this wouldn’t be the first man she killed.

When he kissed her for the first time, he doesn’t have words to describe how he felt.

Her eyes that widened before he jumped in front of lightning. He can’t remember her, he just remembers the fear he felt when he saw Azula point the lightning at her. He remembers not reaching the ground in time to redirect lightning properly, how he only got a portion out of his system. He remembers falling, and his back hitting the ground. The sharp pain, and bone crunching crack.

He remembers seeing lightning vs ice fly around him, fire being met with snow.

He remembers blue, cold water reaching his stomach and the way it felt for torn muscles to be forced back together again by gentle, loving hands.

Her last words to him, he can so clearly hear her voice. So much so that in his dreams his body shakes, and his heart lurches. It isn’t right, the heartbeat isn’t normal without her here.

He misses _Katara._

.

.

.

“He’s probably freaking out right now.”

He knows that voice.

“We were too.”

He knows that one too.

“I know.” A voice that sounds sorry and almost sad, one that sounds guilty.

“You should be dead,” Another one, “You were lucky the spirits had mercy on you.”

The voice doesn’t sound happy when they reply, “I don’t think lucky is the word I’d call it.”

There is a long drawn out pause, “Are you saying that, that you wanted-“

“I did.” He hears the voice crack, the sound of tears hitting the ground. “I really wanted to die. So many fucking times, I begged men to let me die, I begged Azula _, I begged the spirits_. But they wouldn’t let me. They said I had a future, a job to finish. I had something else to give to this world, something else. The audacity they had to tell me that- Something else!” The person screams, voice hoarse, “I gave everything already! My mother, my childhood, my innocence…I gave it away to end this war and they want me to give more.”

“Katara, I didn’t know.”

“Nobody did.” The sharp intake of breath, “Nobody did, Aang.”

“Did he know?”

“I don’t remember telling him, but I think he would have understood.”

“Are you going to tell him?” Aang asks, “Were you going to tell him?”

There is silence.

“Anybody?”

More silence.

“Nobody?”

Even more silence.

“I’m alive, okay?”

Apparently, that answer wasn’t enough for the Avatar, since his footsteps followed him out of the room, leaving the waterbender alone. When she speaks again it is to nobody in particular, “We all made it out alive, isn’t that what matters?”

Lips meet his forehead, and a pair of cold hands touch his.

“I’m glad you’re alive, Zuko.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So even though school is shut down, and everybody is freaking out (stay safe humans) I still have swim practice early in the morning and then I sleep the rest of the day. I know this chapter is confusing on its own but there is a second part clearing up Katara's "death". Stay safe people, but still enjoy life.


	23. Lucky to Be Alive

She’s standing by the edge of a waterfall. She feels the water surrounding it, and without thinking she flicks her wrist and it lifts up. The water doesn’t hit the pool below, she manages to hold the water- all of it. She feels every drop pouring down. She drops her wrist and the water falls down with a crash.

Its glorious.

The power, and the beauty of water bending will never cease to amaze her.

She looks around, and her eyes wander to the green plant and colorful flowers surrounding this perfect picture. Something about what is here makes her feel calm, peaceful and she loves it. She smiles.

A figure appears in her view, one that she recognizes immediately.

Her smile grows even wider, and she doesn’t even fight the childish scream that her voice makes. “Mom!”

It is what she wanted for so long, her mother right there in front of her. She runs to her, and doesn’t question the fact that her legs don’t burn or her arms don’t hurt her. The only time she does pause is when she actually comes face to face with her mother.

She remembers the swamp, what happened then. The last time she thought she saw her mother. It was an illusion brought on by the spirits, and she remembered feeling so heartbreaking. Being so close to her mother and to not have her there at all. That is why when warm hands grabbed her and pulled her close to her chest Katara cried tears of joy.

“My baby girl,” Kya whispered, cradling Katara the way she should have been able to for years. “I missed you.”

“Mom,” Katara gasped, “You really are here.”

She released the hold on her mother, pulling away to look at her face. It was similar to Katara’s face, the same blue eyes, a similar nose, and she is built just like her mother except the fact that Katara has more muscles from bending, but other than that she looks just like her mom; a fact that she is proud of.

There are tears that Katara refuses to fight, “You are alive, mom you really are alive.”

The words leave her mouth, and Kya’s smile disappears and Katara realizes the mistake as soon as she says it.

“No honey,” Kya shakes her head, “I’m not and you aren’t either.”

“I’m- I’m-“ the words are a struggle to say out loud, but somehow like she always does she manages. “I’m _dead._ ”

When her mother nods it should be the most heartbreaking thing in the world, it should be a shock to her, she should be demanding that the spirits send her back to the living world, she should be wanting to live again.

“I’m dead.”

She says it again, feeling the words on her tongue.

“I’m no longer alive.”

Her brows furrow.

“I’m finally dead.”

Her mother looks confused when Katara smiles, but Katara is relieved. It’s over, she can finally be at peace. And it is selfish, so fucking selfish of her to want to be dead, but she doesn’t give a damn. Maybe later, but right now she has her mother back and that’s what she wanted, all she fucking wanted.

Death is beautiful.

The waterfall next to her crashes down with he might of the ocean behind it.

The flowers bloom like it is forever spring.

The grass is so green she thinks it was a painted portrait.

The temperature is perfect.

She has her mother.

Death is beautiful and _permanent._

“You won’t be dead for long, love.”

And just like that her happiness, her peace comes crashing down around her.

“What?” She looks at her mom, “But I thought, I thought that you just said- you just said that I was dead.”

No, no, no. In the Southern Water Tribe death was final, it was the end. Nobody came back from the dead, if somebody went missing hunting, they wait four months until they presume the person dead and they hold the funeral. They send the body or possessions to the bottom of the ocean, returning the soul to the sea. There was no coming back. Death was black ink on white paper, it was there, and it could not be erased or rewritten. It could be covered over, smudged and misinterpreted but it was done.

Killing in the Southern Water Tribe was a sacred, and ominous thing. To survive they needed the meat, skin and bones of an animal and so when they killed, they did it in the name of the people and apologize to the spirits. They didn’t kill people, because life was sacred especially for a group of people who was small. Mercy kills didn’t exist, you live until you die. You live until you die. _And Katara fucking died._

She didn’t deserve to live, she was a murderer, a bloodbender, a monster, she deserved to die.

“The spirits have plans for you, my waterbender.” Her mother explains, “You have a future.”

Her tears are no longer tears of relief and joy, they have turned into grief and despair, “I don’t want a future.”

Kya opens her mouth to say that she knows, to say that she understands or whatever loving words a mother should say to her child who wants to remain dead, but she can’t. She doesn’t understand her daughter, and most likely won’t until she comes back to the spirit world to explain herself.

“You’ll come back here, Katara. You will come back here; I promise you that.”

Katara knows it is stupid, here she is wanting to stay dead in front of her mother who died for her. But she wants to, she missed an entire childhood, she missed an _entire life_. She lost so much to this war, she lost her innocence, lost her clean hands, her pure happiness, she can’t say that she lost her hope but sometimes she thinks that she did.

She lost her name to this war, she knows that the history books won’t remember her as Katara, just Katara, they will eventually forget that she was the last Southern WaterBender who fought her way to become a master, they will never know she was a bloodbender, they will forget her power. They will remember her as the Avatar’s water bending master, they will remember her as the girl who healed the Prince of Fire, the girl who was _there_.

“I don’t want to go.”

She feels like a little girl again, having her mother being pulled away from her again.

“You’ll see me again.” Kya smiles and places a kiss on her head, “Tell Hakoda and Sokka that I love them, and miss them. You’ll grow up strong, my waterbender.”

 _I’m already strong_ , she wanted to say _, I’ve already grown up. I’ve grown up so much that I should stay here with you._ She couldn’t say these things, she could never say the things she wanted to say because that wasn’t the fate the spirits had for her.

She wants to think she saw Yue, and Hei Bei as her eyes were forced to close again. She thinks she sees the Painted Lady smiling sadly at her, as if understanding the predicament that Katara was in. She sees a flash of a Blue Mask as the lines between death and life start to blur, her soul making the transition back against her will.

She was lucky, the history books would say, she was lucky to be brought back.

She wouldn’t call it lucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As weird as this chapter is, I kind of strangely like it. I'm not sure if it is in character for Katara or not (i'm kinda sleep-deprived), but it was easy to write despite the fact that it was kinda crappy. I gotta say I liked writing this, I dunno I was just in a chill mood with a good playlist.


	24. Ending Where We Started

Zuko wakes up five days of the end of the comet, or the end of the war. In the time he was out many things happened. Sokka, Suki and Toph were had become war heroes working together to take down the Fire Nation AirFleet. Aang had showed up and defeated Ozai (without killing him much to Katara chagrin). Katara had died, but then came back something he didn’t understand, and she had yet to explain to him. Azula was sent to an isolated cell underneath the palace under the orders of the Fire Sages, at first, he was angry that they would treat his sister in such a way but once he managed to calm down he managed to come to the conclusion that it was for the better.

He looked down at his body, he knew underneath he white bandages there was going to be a scar there. He had no idea what it looked like, but during his state between being passed out and somewhat awake he knew that it was large and that if it wasn’t for Katara he would be in a lot more pain.

He misses her as stupid as it was, he wants her by his side, but he knows that right now it isn’t possible. Today is a big day, and for ceremonial reasons he can’t have her with him.

His coronation is today, and he knows that he isn’t quite ready to be Firelord.

He’s putting on his royal robes, and mentally preparing himself but it just feels wrong.

There is a knock at his door.

“Come in,” He says, expecting it to be Katara or a doctor or healer, but to his surprise he sees Mai.

Being honest he hasn’t thought about Mai much since leaving the prison, quite frankly he hasn’t thought about her at all.

“You are here!” He says and he realizes how happy he is to see her. After he says it he realizes how weird it is for her to here. He left her alone on the Boiling Rock, she could have died and he wouldn’t have known. She could have died, and he wouldn’t have even thought about it once. She fought his sister for him, risked her life and he never thanked her.

He broke up with her, left her in prison, fell in love with another girl and never even thought of her once.

His face falls, he is a jerk.

“I am.” There is no emotion in her voice, there rarely is. Her arms are crossed, and she leans against the doorway, “I’m actually surprised to see that you are here too.”

She takes a step closer, eyes meeting his. “But then again, you always were hard to fully get rid of.”

She looks at him, really looks at him and he hates how he has no clue of any thoughts that go on in her mind. There are no hints, no flashes of emotion, no body language that can give it away.

“I’m sorry,” He admits, “for what I did to you.”

“Good,” She says, and he thinks that she is mad at him, but then she does the weirdest thing, she smiles. “I’m glad. The next ruler of the Fire Nation should be sorry for the shitty things he did, if he wasn’t, I’d be concerned.”

He doesn’t know what to say, so he says nothing. Just watches her as she steps away, “See you after the coronation, Zuko.”

He feels better for some reason, because maybe, _just maybe_ if his stubborn knife-wielding ex can forgive him, then maybe the rest of the world can forgive the Fire Nation.

~o~

Throughout his entire speech he manages to not wince at the pain from his abdomen, and with a blessing from Agni he manages to only stumble on his words twice. 

His speech finishes, Aang enters the stage and the applause seems to trap him. He wants to leave this doesn’t feel right. He isn’t a hero, or a king he is a boy with daddy issues and a broken family who only did the right thing last minute. But it doesn’t matter, he is swept away into a crowd of heroes, soldiers, nobles, ambassadors, kings and chiefs and he has no time to even bother looking for her. Nobody notices the Firelord’s fake smile and forces greetings.

He shakes hands, congratulates people and ignores glares.

He knows that he needs to feel good about this, but peace feels so strained already and he just needs time to adjust.

It dawns on him when he is shaking the hand of Mai’s father, and has to make sure his guards are close by because the man is glaring him down that Zuko is fighting a completely different type of war now.

But he looks at his friends who stand behind him, Suki, Sokka, Toph, Aang, and Katara. He can do this, they all can. It might not be the ending he expected or wanted but this is the end of a war.

And now these children of war and warriors, will enter a world of peace and problems.

It isn’t perfect.

It will never be perfect.

~o~

The plans to travel to the Earth Kingdom aren’t quite made but they are in progress, as people around the world celebrate peace.

Sokka comes to stand next to him, and he has a vague sense of déjà vu “Peace huh?”

Zuko nods his head, “Peace.”

There isn’t really much to say that hasn’t been said before, in speeches or meetings about the topic.

There is an air between them, something unsaid as the two boys (or were they men?) watch Aang and Katara converse away from the rest of the group. Katara is nodding their head, and Aang is looking like a kicked seal-puppy. She doesn’t smile but she places a hand on her younger friends’ shoulder, and it seems that the two come to an agreement after that.

“Thanks for watching her.”

Zuko wasn’t expecting the comment, “What?”

“I said,” Sokka begins again, “Thank you for watching her.”

“Oh.” Zuko remembers now, the conversation he and Sokka held all those days ago- was it only days ago, that Sokka asked Zuko to watch Katara? It felt longer. “That was nothing.”

It wasn’t nothing though.

Looking at Katara, he realizes, it was almost everything.

That conversation opened up new doors for the two of them, and there is a feeling in his bones that says if that conversation didn’t happen the ending of this story would be very, very different.

Sokka nods his head, raising a brow suspiciously, “I mean when I said look after her, I didn’t mean to start making out with my little sister, but it is what it is.”

Zuko feels his face turn the same color as his scar. “I didn’t….but- _how did you know?”_

Zuko and Katara hadn’t yet told anybody but Iroh, and Toph was smart enough to put two and two together, but they made sure not to tell the others.

“I watched you while you were knocked out and still healing, Katara fell asleep, and you were asleep. You kept calling her name in your sleep, asking for her, and well seeing as you almost died for her and she literally died for you, it was easy to figure out.”

Zuko didn’t say anything.

“I’d tell you not to break her heart, and all that other protective older brother crap but she can literally tear your heart apart, so I don’t think its that big of a deal.” The smile Sokka gave him was just short of sadistic.

Zuko nodded his head, and was about to stumble through his words again and say something else but Toph pulled him away saying that she needed to settle a bet. Suki was laughing, Aang was fluttering about, Sokka eating food, Toph holding tight to Zuko in one hand and Katara in another.

He smiled at his new family.

Everything would be okay.

.

.

"I love you," She whispered to him later that evening when everybody was gone. "I hope you know that I love you." 

"I love you, too." 

She turns to leave but then turns back around for a moment, "Thank you for seeing me Zuko." She kisses him, "Thank you for seeing me, and understanding me, and staying by my side." 

He pulls her closer to him, "I can only say the same to you." 

.

_And just like that, everything ended the same way it started._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quarantine, huh? 
> 
> So in between last time I posted a chapter and this one, a pandemic became serious, my homework load became heavier than ever, and I am back to writing original works so this one took a backseat (sorry). But I'm back now, and you guys now have your ending. It's short, it's crappy, there are words unspoken but as you know that's my writing style by now. Thank you for reading this till the end, and dealing with the long break I took from working on this fic. Now it will come to a close.   
> .  
> .  
> .  
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> I'm totally lying when I say that this is the last chapter by the way.


	25. It Is Over

With every step she takes men fall behind her. Bodies hitting the ground with a thud that echoes through the chambers of the underground prison. She’s deep underground where no sun light will ever reach. She’s far away from the light of a fire, but she doesn’t need a fire. The sound of heartbeats is enough to tell her where she should and shouldn’t go.

She is so much more powerful than she was when the war ended, there doesn’t even have another waterbender in this world who could come close to what she can. She is the one of two female waterbending masters left in the world, one of two bloodbenders, the last free Southern Waterbender, and the most powerful person second to the Avatar.

She defeated Azula.

Won the Firelord his crown.

Held people together in a war.

She gave them hope.

She protected them.

And now-

_Now she will kill the man who made this, who was responsible for this._

As she gets further down, she starts to see a small flame in front of a barred cell. That flame illuminates the monster inside. Pale skin shines in the light, sunken cheekbones and sharp lines, ragged long black hair, clothes that are half-eaten by rats. She overheard people in the palace say that he looked like Zuko without the scar, but she disagrees. This monster will never look like her Zuko, will never look like the Firelord he is.

“It’s about time somebody made their way down here to rescue me.” His voice makes her skin crawl, not in fear, but in anticipation. She can feel his blood, every vein coursing through his body, his heartbeat she is surprised to say is warm and not cold like she thought it ought to be for what he has done.

She smiles. She’s kept this darker side of herself in check ever since she came back to life, she’s kept the siren in her that sang for the red liquid that dripped from men on a tight leash, but here is the time she can let it all out.

Her voice is cold, icy, and sharp. Sharp like the tips of glaciers that make up her homeland, sharp like icicles that hang from caves, sharp enough to kill a man. “I’m not here to save you, Ozai.”

His head jerks up, eyes the color of golden blades meet hers. “Who are you?”

“Guess.”

She walks closer to the bars, giving him a good look at her eyes, and her dark skin. She is watertribe, the last waterbender of the South Pole, and she’s going to kill him.

“You are a water peasant, aren’t you?” He spits the word water like he hates it, like it is poison. It’s fitting, air had blown out his flames, but her water will get rid of his embers permanently. “The Avatar’s water bending bitch.”

She laughs at him, eyes looking down at him. “But I’m the bitch that your son wants on the throne next to him.” She puts her head closer, “And I’m the one that’s going to rule your country.”

He screams and tries to lunge at the bars like the animal he truly is. She may be a bitch, but at least she is not the one on chains. She only puts her head closer, “I’m also the one that is going to kill you.”

The look on his face is priceless, and she can’t help but feel giddy. The spirits brought her back to life for this, and only this. She thinks they gave her an ounce of bloodlust, she vaguely remembers the spirits whispering in her mind about how her personality may change as she goes longer without completing her task.

“You can’t kill me.”

“Oh, but I can.” She says, “The Avatar may have mercy, but I do not.”

She closes her eyes and focuses on his heartbeat. She could kill him right then and there, but she wants him to know the power she has first. She moves a finger on her left hand, twirling it through the air and she hears the gasp as Ozai feels his hand move without his permission, as she forces him to stand up and face her.

She opens her eyes, “You have hurt so many people. Sentenced men and women to their deaths, ordered the deaths of children. But no more Ozai, no fucking more.”

She waits and listens to his heart beat.

_Thump,_

_thump,_

_thump._

She closes her eyes because despite the fact that this is murder she doesn’t want to look straight into his soul as it vanishes. Her fist closes slowly, there is sound that leaves Ozai’s throat that is a scream that was caught but never left his mouth because he’s laying on the ground dead before it can escape.

Something in her stomach settles, and she refuses to look at his body as she turns around and walks away.

There will be no more rebellions hoping to put Ozai on the throne. There will be no more ordering the death of children, and families, and men and women, and soldiers, or people. There will be no more of it.

She killed the monster.

In history they will remember it as the war ended when the Avatar beat the Phoenix King, but it really ended when the waterbender killed the monster.

_It was over._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And it is over folks!  
> The conclusion, the finale, the whatever you want to call the end of this shit-wreck that I have been writing since December (was it December). It is the end of my staying up till 2 and updating at no schedule at all, writing this short, almost 70 pages story. Thanks for reading folks, hope you liked it and enjoyed. 
> 
> Please tell me what was your favorite part of this entire work, I'm curious.


	26. THERE WILL BE A SEQUEL!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is going to be a part two!!!
> 
> So I've sort of been planning this since January about how I wanted to write Katara through her fight to become Firelady, but I knew it had to wait until I finished this one. I'm currently writing an original work at the same time so I apologize for the infrequent updates, but I promise I will be. I'm editing the first chapter right now and hopefully, it will be posted within a week or two. 
> 
> I promise you I will be developing on relationships, and you guys know I'm going to be focusing on side characters at the same time.

* * *

**Fight for the Firelady**

The war is over, but there are still things left unsaid but one thing that is for certain is that Zuko wants Katara on the throne next to him. Of course, nothing is ever so simple. The Fire Nation is built on tradition and even though they have become more accepting a waterbender (and a bloodbender for those who know) will not be accepted. Katara must prove herself to be better than good enough in the eyes of the Fire Nation court, while also dealing with her morals after the war. 

Whoever said peace was simple and easy was a goddamn liar.

Set after the war, the sequel to Two Sides of the Sea.

(and that liar might be Aang)

~o~

_Piandao remembered that Katara was much more than what most people saw of her. He spent one day training her before the comet, and one day was enough to tell him that the girl had power beyond reckoning that most men would barely be able to comprehend._

_“What do you want?”_

_Her eyes narrowed, and she held the dagger tight in her hand. “I want to be Firelady.”_

_“The court is one of politics, people who are ruthless and care too much over the small things and too little of the big things. The people there tend to forget about the rest of the world and problems that are not theirs. That is why I left.” He looks her in the eyes, and scans her up and down. “But, that is why you are needed, and why we will make sure you become the most remembered Fire lady in history.”_


End file.
